Monday, February 04, 2008

History Repeats Itself

Clarence Darrow, a Defence Attorney in the USA between 1857 - 1938 is known for saying the famous quote
"History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history."Remember about 6 months ago when I scratched my cornea while rubbing my eyes and ended up not being able to open my eyes for a few days?

I also remember myself saying
'WHAT KIND OF IDIOT SCRATCHES HIS OWN CORNEA WHILE ASLEEP?!?!"

Today, I have the answer to that question.
"The kind of idiot who will do it again..."

That's right everyone, 6 months after scratching my cornea while sleeping.... I did it again and landed up not seeing one but two doctors and forced upon an eye patch.

I wasn't able to open both my eyes again even though the injury was only on one eye (because like it or not, both your eyes move when you look around even if you close one of them).
There's nothing more frustrating that having an eye injury because you can't do anything but sleep and hope it gets better.

You can't read, you can't go online, you can't blog you can't watch TV.... you can just sleep.

So that's all I did.. sleep sleep sleep until I couldn't get myself to sleep anymore (I mean there are only so many hours a day that a person can sleep right?), so I resulted in taking a sleeping pill to force myself to sleep.

I learned something new about sleeping pills though.
The first time I popped one into my mouth I was thinking excitedly in my head
"Oooh ooh... this thing is going to knock me out any minute now... any minute now... any minute now ... *20 minutes later* .... ahh phuck I'm still awake"!

Which is when I realized that it works if I just try to sleep rather than stay conscious of the fact that I just took a sleeping pill.

Anyway, I have had enough of scratching my corneas!!!

So I have decided to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

NO LONGER SHALL TIMOTHY TIAH SCRATCH HIS CORNEA FROM SLEEPING!!! NO LONGER!!!!

And the solution is simple.

The Doc suggested that maybe I wear an eye patch every time before I sleep to prevent myself from scratching my eyes.

I say...
"F*CK the sissy eye patches Doc... lets do things the MAN way".

So I dug up an old motorbike helmet I had and ended up with this Arai one which is apparently bullet-proof.
Seriously... the man I got it from told me it really IS bullet proof and I'm not gonna question that.

The last thing do I wanna do is have him prove it to me by having him shoot me in the head while wearing it.

So anyway...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

NO WAY AM I GONNA SCRATCH MY EYES AGAIN NOWW!!!!!

Although this might really be in tomorrow's paper.

BUT WHO CARES!!! I STILL WOULDN'T HAVE SCRATCHED MY EYES!!!

62 comments:

Arsky said...

Wear the eye-patch or risk scratching your eye lol~ But scratching your eyes while asleep idea is still very new to me~

Know what you can get sam to hold your hand while asleep so your fingers won't wander around or maybe tie yourself to the bedpost while asleep lol

Get well soon Taoke~

Genova said...

boss you are up ade !. lol.
wooootssss

Fei said...

Iyo boss, why la you so "itchy hands" one. Lol. Pun intended.

Try wearing those eye mask thing la, then not only will you be unable to scratch your eyeballs out again, you won't get dark undereye circles either.

David Cheong said...

Waaaaa, you look so macho-fied lah boss... Like big boss only, so when gonna join the mafia gang and whack kao ppl? hahahaha

Jing Yen said...

LOL injured also can be so funny! anyway take care and get well soon.

Michelle said...

sigh.. take care ler..
u'll still look man whether u sleep with a sissy eye patch or that idiotic looking helmet. haha..

get well soon tim~

The Blog God said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pinksterz said...

try using handcuffs next time :P

ey if you kenot open ur eyes, who typed this for you lah? notty notty go to sleep!

ahaha get well soon (again).

p.s. the previous (deleted) comment was written by me also. ignored it (the nick lah) pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!

Nicocoa said...

u look like a mat rempit overdose

-Life- said...

hey,u can wear those baby mittens/gloves or whatever u call it. those that babies wear when they're sleeping to prevent them from scratching themselves.
or u can try socks if u can't find them in ur size ;)

Super Gentleman said...

aiyoh boss... y u so kolien 1... LoL... instead of all d above suggestions, i think its better if u can get d beds wif straps which u can find in asylums... u can get 1 free from 1 of d mental institutions if u say u gt 'problem'... LoL... n imagine all d kinky stuff u can do wif it too... *ahem... LoL...

Simon Seow said...

You can blog again. Mean you're ok already?

Sietevie said...

A very cool post for such serious matter :) ! get well soon!

twosuperheroes said...

Ei boss, you have a bantal busuk too! Ehehhehe... :p

Edward said...

hi, tim. great blog. i will be expecting interesting and great things to come!

wishing you all the best. with that sense of self-effacing humor you have, you will go far on this lonely odyssey as an entrepreneur.

and well talking about stratching your eyes, ever considered wearing those blindfolds given by those airlines (good for a deep night's sleep) or perhaps trimming your fingernails. hope you are feeling better.

cheers,
the black swan

KY said...

memang macam rempit sial

Caffenny said...

Funny! That helmet shall protect thou from scratching!

Adrian Chiu said...

Great! You look like the Stig when you sleep now!

William Leong said...

yes yes... The Stig's Asian cousin... "The one-eye Stig"

MaE : ) said...

boss wear goggles la boss

Serena said...

i think u r too tension lor, if not, why would u scratch ur eyes while sleeping? hmmm...

take care!

Christine said...

wth...why do you scratch your eyes again?? lol...
The bullet proof helmet shall prevent your finger(which is more dangerous than a bullet) to touch your eyes.. or Maybe you should stick your hands on the bed when you are sleeping..
By the way, get well soon!!!

Aronil said...

Hiayooohhh u ahh... that was my first reaction to when i read your introduction.... then this is what followed..
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH you're wearing a helmet to sleep hahahahha .. wel hey it will work :P can't u just settle for like goggles or something? Can you breath in that thing?

JenKin Yat said...

arlo Boss..why your cornea like that 1? i touch my eyes also nothing happened 1? next time i touch for you to see..

get well soon and happy holiday..

P/S - be more gentle please..

Boss Stewie said...

Arsky: Hahaha… I don’t wanna tie myself to the bed post.. too kinky already! After someone walks in on me and thinks that I’m with some kinky girl

Genova: yeah I’m up and almost well di :P

Fei: what mask thing? You mean the facial mask kind of thing?

David: hahaha macho-fied.. .what a word dude

Jing yen: thank you :P i’m already getting better

Michelle: haha!!! Okok michelle.. thank you

Pink: hahaha now my eyes can open di… I’m almost recovered

Nico: lol rempit overdose!! Haah

Life: yeah that’s what I thought.. wearing mittens.. but how gay would that be :P

Super: hahaha… strap myself to the bed? Oh no no.. I don’t like that feeling… too kinky di

Simon: yeah I’m okie di :P more or less…

Siet: haha thank you thank you

Twosuperhoes: yah man.. I do… since young… nobody can take that away from me

Edward: thank you for your kind words Edward. I don’t think those blindfolds will help since.. they come off to easily.. would prob just take them off subconsciously when I want to scratch my eyes

Ky: hahaha! Yes… what do you call a Malaysian Chinese rempit

Caffeny: yes!! And It’ll protect me from a lot more than just scratching

Adrian: hahah!! The stig!! Ahh I miss watching Top Gear

William: hahaha!! Lol..

Mae: hahaha goggles too easy come out lahh!!!

Serena; yah.. I think so too.. too much stress hahaha

Christine: hahaha stick my hands with what? Bumble gum ? hehe

Aronil: hahah yes I can breathe in that thing.. if I try hard enough

Jenkinyat: yalah sometimes I wish I’m like Wolverine… can get injured but can heal in a matter of minutes

Suet Li said...

omg damn stupid wtf. the end

yapthomas said...

wah.. anything to do with the eye is so scary..
but you look good with the eye patch! -_-

so.. get well soon yeah!! haha

Boss Stewie said...

suet li: haha! go away suet li!

yapthomas: hahaha thank you.. i'm getting well :P

liyiesther.C said...

HAHA! YOU DA MAN la! hahaha.... same eye?

BaLQiz said...

Another hilarious entry! Gud one!

~em~ said...

how do you scratch your own cornea?

Hikari Reika said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*inhales*-AHAHAHHAHAHA.

but seriously. that sounds god-awful painful!

i would suggest a better alternative is to tie ur eyes with yards of cling-wrap... softer and more comfortable than a helmet, and damn helluva hard to unconsciously tear off when ur asleep :p

hope you've healed well! :D

Zephyr said...

Behold....the next Blockbuster movie by Boss Stewie "Pirates of the Nuff-ribean"

Coming soon into Nuffnang branch near you!

P/s: Sorry to hear that, actually u can get some girls to hold ur hands while u sleep XD.

Get well soon!

Shaolin said...

What kind of idiot scratches his own, not once but twice?

Oh right..

rockdandy said...

Well, you should wear some kind of F1 suits. if not next time u may ter-scratch your balls..haha...

Boss Stewie said...

esther: *SNIFF* yah same eye

balqiz: aww thank you :P

em: I don't know!!! it just happened!!! apparently it happens if you rub your eyes too hard

hikari: hahaa well i've healed much better now thank you :P well enough to reply comments.. see?

zephyr: i wonder which girl would do that

shaolin: haha you bastard!

rock: yah that wan okie.. i got ballz of steel

liyiesther.C said...

maybe god wants you to be a pirate instead of an entrepreneur. go talk to jack sparrow about it. you look good with the eye patch anyway.

Miss Nobody said...

pity you! were your nails very very sharp or long? why can end up scratching it so badly??

Boss Stewie said...

esther: what?? i don't look good in an eye patch!!!

miss: hahaha i don't know how.. sniff

Michelle said...

ROFL!

*Evil~Cat* said...

太好了,blog's updated....加油哦!

FengY said...

actually hor, how do you scratch your eye? *imagines* your hands are hyperactive :D

windwalker said...

You really sleep with your helmet on?hahaha...

chingy said...

So this is your leetle accident. =D
Rest well!

pamsong said...

Whoa. Who you karate-ing in bed lah!? Maybe you shouldn't laugh so much. I know kids are said to get nightmares when they get the giggles before bedtime. =p

Get better!

Boss Stewie said...

michelle: haha

evil: haha ok i jia you!

feng: yeah they must be.. esp when i'm sleeping

wind: hahaha no i'm trying to


chingy: thanks :P getting better already

pamsong: hahaha yeah.. okok fine fine i wun laugh nemore

singzee said...

wonder that when u find u scratched your cornea? right after you did it or only when u awake in the morning?

Michael Song said...

geez... where got ppl sleep so roughly wan... perhaps get a sifu to check ur room, i suspect it is not u who scratch ur eyes, perhaps something else... damn, i see dead people!

Sue Me said...

get well soon..btw do u feel comfy wearing helmet to sleep?lol..

~em~ said...

hm.. maybe i should stop rubbing my eyes so often thn.. haha... but i don't do it in my sleep.. so should be alrite.. lol

mirror said...

hahahaha..nice one..

i couldn't sleep myself too..like you say how much a person can sleep in a day..

well sleeping pills got many different kind of 'degree' de. Some never work well, some knock in after 30 mins..some hit u at 30 seconds also you don't know and you wake up feeling more tired like you've never sleep. it's not a pleasant feeling after that also, like heavy heads all day long.

so i never ate any sleeping pills anymore ;p

so your more lengzai solution to your eye scratching...go cook a 'ham tan'=salty egg, cut into half, then use glue stick it to your eye, make sure it stays. There u go, very lengzai ultraman while sleeping.

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

aiyoh..say so in ur earlier post..thought u really "Accident".. anywayz get well soon..if not we wont get any ads!

Cheng Chun said...

Wow such powerful scratches u have there boss. But once I took out a layer of my cornea before. That was crazy!!! :P

§pinzer said...

oi silly boi, take care of urself k. otherwise kenot see properly how to kap lui rite?

ahlost said...

the last pic real or fake one? *LOL*

Michelle Chin said...

The Idiot. LOL!

Andrew Ooi said...

Put on one of those baking gloves when you sleep!

May Leng said...

ah.. you have a fetish on pulling your eye balls out ! so, you're a sadist and also a masochist. hate to be the one sleeping next to you ! :P

one night with timothy ..your eyes will definitely fall out ..

ok, thats just plain cruel. are you feeling better ? =)

May Leng said...

oh btw, do you have a milk bottle or a duck on your sofa :P

Fei said...

boss: ya ya, the facial one..those gel eye mask thingy :P

Ai Ming said...

omfg
this post is so frigging funny
=]

Geek @ Kedai.TV said...

U Sure U scratched it...or was it because of something else....

Like XBRAIN said....

hehh hehh hehhe


azrin @ http://www.kedai.tv