FML 1 & FML 2

FML #1

Finally got myself the time to go buy Lady Gaga's album. Got it in 1-Utama just before the shops closed late at night. Was holding my CD happily in my hand when I got to my car and loaded the CDs into the CD Changer in the back.

There were two CDs. One of them was working fine but I couldn't figure out why the second one couldn't play. When I got home and took the CDs out I found out why: One of the CDs had a crack right down the middle.

I was like "WTF???.... come on if you bought a pirated CD and if this shit happens then fine. But that was an original album!".

So the next morning I had to go back all the way to 1-Utama to change it. Princess went down to help me get it changed and she told me the woman at the counter gave her a black face and reluctantly exchanged the disc. I think she thought we broke it in less 24 hours and tried to get it changed.

C'mon! How would I buy a CD at night and break it by the next morning? I've never even broken a CD before.

FML #2

Also at 1-Utama that night, Princess stopped by this shop and saw some face masks. She said "OOH OOH.. LETS BOTH WEAR A MASK TONIGHT". I didn't seem to keen on it. Ignorant me... I always thought masks were only for women but Princess showed me one that was made just for men.

She called it the "MAN MASK"... or something like that.

She said it would help me clean my pores and do something something... I wasn't really listening. Find it hard to listen when girls talk about beauty. I just like looking at beauty... not listening to how it comes about. It's like you just want to look at your beautiful crispy fried chicken in the bucket waiting for you to eat it. You don't wanna know how the chicken died before it got to the bucket right?

So fine... later that night we both tried out the mask.

Right after I took off the mask I began to see some redness on my cheeks. Thought it was nothing so I went to bed. Then in the middle of the night I felt some itch on my cheeks so I touched it only to feel like my face had just turned hard like a rock. An itchy rock.. if that makes any sense.

My face felt swollen. Started cursing and swearing mentally at the mask and telling myself that I shouldn't have done it. It was still dark and I was tired so I kept telling myself to stop thinking and go back to bed.

I couldn't.... my mind kept thinking about how my face looked and I had this image of me with the cheeks of Dumbo. So I got out of bed, went to the toilet and looked at myself in the mirror. I had two big round patches on my face. Rashes. I must've been allergic to something in the mask.

I let out a "Fuuuuucccckkk"... then I went to wake Princess to show it to her. The first few seconds that she began to wake she mumbled a "Huh??? Wha????" which actually meant "THE HOUSE HAD BETTER BE ON FIRE... OR IMMA KEEL YOU FOR WAKING ME UP FAT MAN!!!".

Then when she saw my face she went all "Ohhhh..... noooo.... I'm so sorry baby".

I looked at her with the most pitiful face I could make and said "It's itchy..."

She then cuddled me to sleep.

The next morning it got a lot better but I still look like I had rosey cheeks.

And it was still itchy.

Fortunately by the end of the day it had began to really clear out.

So no more masks for me... ever!