The Hot Girls Always Go For The Ah Bengs

It sucks to NOT be an Ah Beng these days.

Let me tell you why.

We were just in the office today on a regular Friday afternoon.

All the girls were busy working hard, cracking their heads and rushing to finish whatever work they have left before the weekend starts.The guys on the other hand, were moderately busy.

Yes only moderately busy, because Nicholas turned around and asked me all of a sudden
"Eh Tim, who is the hottest female blogger that you know?"

I had one girl in mind.

One girl so hot that I said
"Yat... this girl I know is sooo hot... you would leave your girlfriend!" (Note to Yat's gf: Please don't kill me.. figure of speech only okie? kekeke)
It didn't take long for me to say out the URL and it took an even shorter amount of time for the guys to quickly type that URL into their browser and check her out.

3 seconds passed for the blog to load which was when I heard the first
"WAHH!!!! SHE IS SO DAMN HOT!!!"

I sat back and smiled...
"Yes I know.... some more she's an exclusive Nuffnanger" (which makes any girl more attractive to the guys who work at Nuffnang... I know.. we're sick.. we're all sick!!!).
The girls on the other hand.... well you would expect the girls to look over and say
"CHEH!!! You guys have no taste lar!".

But they all looked over and were speechless for a few seconds until I said
"HOT LEH!?!??!"

And they all nodded their head in sequence and said
"Yes... really hot".

We were indulging in the excitement when one of the girls burst our bubble and asked
"Got boyfriend ar?"

I replied
"SURE GOT BF LAR!!!! And I can tell you that NONE of us in this office here stand a chance... why?? Because the world is not fair... in case you haven't noticed already... all the hot girls are always with the Ah Bengs... and you guys are not Ah Bengs!"

And it's true.

Somehow, Ah Bengs are just more attractive to hot girls.

All my hot friends are with Ah Bengs. Even one of my ex-gfs left me for an Ah Beng.

My brother once told me that no hot girl wants to date a good guy. They want to date the bad boys.. and try to turn them good (at least until they realize that it's not gonna happen).

That's right.

You can go up to the girl and say
"Hi Lily. My name is John Rowling and I am a VP at Goldman Sachs, the youngest VP in the history of the firm and did I mention that I was also featured on Forbes and BusinessWeek Magazine."

Lily will not sound impressed and won't even give you any attention at all.

But if Ah Beng goes up to her and say
"Hello Lily. My name is Lee Ah Beng... I drive a car with a BIG EKZOS (exhaust)"

Lily would fall to her knees and say
"OOOOoooooohhh.... HOW BIG?!?!?"
Ah Beng by then would feel assured of himself and say
"Veli veli BIG... can fit three papayas inside... so you wan to go hang out? I promise I will be good boyfriend and I don't have a job now so I can spend all my time with you!"

By then Lily would be squealing away
"OOOHH... TELL ME MORE... TELL ME MORE!!!!"

"Well my Ekzos... GOT HELLO KITTY WAN ALSO".

And Ah Beng gets Lily.

All the other guys.... like us... get left behind and it doesn't matter if you have a good job and drive a Mercedes or BMW... you just don't have the STYLE, the HAIR COLOUR, the EXHAUST, the FOUL WORDS and the CHARM to be an Ah Beng.

Face it!

Life is such!

The pretty girl will never date you :(

Doesn't it suck to NOT be an Ah Beng :(

Hitman The Movie

I was a big fan of the computer game Hitman.

It's just hard to NOT love a game like that especially when you're a guy (yes this is the part where the ladies come in, shake their heads and say "tsk tsk.. men and violence")

I loved it not because it was just one of those silly games where you go in and shoot monsters for no damn reason but because it was a game that required a little bit of thinking.

Like you can't just go into a house shooting your guns of glory and killing everyone there.

No you'll have to kill the guard, steal the guard's clothes, climb into the window.. etc etc... and yes I know it's a longer process to get a job done but hey it's more fun that way!

Naturally when the movie came out... I was overexcited but yet worried.
Overexcited because I had waiting a long time for this movie to come out.

Worried because... my expectations of it were so high. I knew I was going to be disappointed somehow.

Yet, I came out of the cinema GLEAMING!!!

IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!
PERFECT!!!

Only thing that bugged me was that Timothy Olyphant's voice didn't quite fit the role and it would be nice to have Vin Diesel's voice in there but that didn't bother me too much.Heck and the best thing about the movie is that unlike other action movies, they wasted no time on romantic love scenes. You would think the action hero like Hitman will fall in love with a hot chick and get it going somewhere in the middle of the movie right?

Not in this movie!!!

The hot chick tried to seduce the Hitman but he didn't go for it.

Now a man who can withstand the seduction of a hot chick is A MAN (Possibly a gay man but a man nevertheless)!!!

Take for example this beautiful lady here.

Guys, if this beautiful japanese chick tried to seduce you would you be able to fight her off?
The answer that most of you would give is NO.

But some of you cocky dudes will say "YES... I BOLEH TAHAN".

In which case I will ask you another question.

If Leah Dizon tried to seduce you would you be able to withstand her?

The ONLY ANSWER to that question is NO!!!

IF YOU SAID YES THEN LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR...

AND CALL YOURSELF A DAMN LIAR!!!

THEN BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FOR LYING IS A SIN!!!

A SIN I TELL YOU!!!

LEAH DIZON IS SO HOT SHE WOULD BURN A HOLE THROUGH MY COUCH IF SHE WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME NOW.

Okay... how the hell did I get from talking about Hitman to Leah Dizon.

Alright back to Hitman.

Okay so watch Hitman ok!

Here's the trailer.


I thought it was awesome!!!

The best movie I've seen this year (Don't count Transformers lar!!!)

And I'm not saying that just because I'm a guy ok?

The girls I watched it with thought it was fantastic too. Though they wished there were some love scenes. Ishh.... girls... want love scenes go watch City of Angels lar...

Hitman is too macho for love.

My Friend's Sister Got Kidnapped

Back when in high school at Saints Xaviers Institution (SXI), I had a friend there named Rayson Goh. We lost contact after we left Form 5 and it has been many years since I last saw him but I still remember him very well.

Today, I just got word from another ex-SXI friend taht Rayson's sister got kidnapped today.3 guys grabbed her right outside her work place in the Hicom Glenmarie Industrial Park and forced her into a silver Toyota Camry.

What the hell is the world coming to now such that you can't be a woman and go to work without fear of getting KIDNAPPED by 3 guys who want to do who knows what with you!

The poor girl's name is Dora Goh Wei Wei, 25 years old and 155cm tall with curly hair.

If you see her or have any idea of where she is please call Rayson at

016-4611896 or 019-2677698

Applications For Boss Stewie's Girlfriend

So I think it's about time I closed the applications for Boss Stewie's girlfriend.

Here are some interesting things about the results.

31 were the number of people who applied to be my girlfriend.

4 of which were guys

27 of which were girls

1 of them was my client

9 was the highest number when asked "How many sexual partners have you had?"

7 of them said they wanted to go out with me so I will "give them more ads"

14 of which said they wanted to go out with me because they thought I had a sense of humour

1 of which answered "69, missionary, doggie, filthy sanchez, hot carl, wheelbarrow, u name it i do it" when asked the question "List any special skills you have that might be relevant to this position."

29 of which claimed to be virgins

27 of which probably lied about being virgins

Haha!

Getting Kinky Messages From Suanie

Everyone remember Suanie?

The girl in the middle of this picture.She just recently got pimped by Pink Pau as one of the most humble celebrity bloggers around.

Just a short while ago she messaged me on MSN


suanie.net says: (3:55:28 PM)
what are you wearing
suanie.net says: (3:55:31 PM)
eh sorry wrong window bye

Naturally my reply to her one hour later when I saw the message was

Stewie... says: (4:51:55 PM)
HAHAHA
Stewie... says: (4:51:57 PM)
MAHAAAI U KINKY SHITT
Stewie... says: (4:52:00 PM)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Stewie... says: (4:52:12 PM)
i am wearing nothing.. but a silk red thong
Stewie... says: (4:52:17 PM)
and i'm feeling hot for you

suanie.net says: (4:52:23 PM)
HOLY F*CK


SCREENSHOT REMOVED
Why??? Because she begged.. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!


And I have A SCREENSHOT TO PROVE IT!!!

HAHAHAHAHA SUANIE SUANIE!!!

SO CUTE LAR YOU!!!

Life on the Island

After my business meeting in Singapore on Thursday, I hopped on a flight straight back to Penang for the weekend.

Every now and then I try to make it a habit to come back to Penang most importantly to see my family and remind my parents that they still have a third son, but also to soak in a bit of island life.

How different is life in Penang from KL? Take yesterday for example, it was dinner time and I went along with some friends to this hawker centre that was at the backyard of this old bungalow house right by the sea.
There were all kinds of hawker food by the sea, everything from your usual Penang Char Kuey Teow to even French Food with a chef really from France,
and Wunderbar German Sausages... all at a fraction of what you would pay in KL for the same thing.
We took a place on one of the tables by the sea and sat down to enjoy the sea breeze and start doing what we like to call "Talking Cock".

In no time the food will come.

I had the typical Char Hor Fun

but one of my other friends on the table even had this macaroni and cheese bake thing.


You can't help but take a look around at the other patrons of this hawker centre and notice that you have everyone from the typical tourists

to more tourists

and to the true blue Penangites!

And you know what's the best part of all this?

In Penang, we can wear whatever we want when going anywhere, even if we go to the nicest shopping malls here and I take advantage of that.

No accidentally running into clients in public... so I take every opportunity I have to wear silly shirts, like this one that Nicole gave me.

Shirts like those make me happy. So funny how whenever I walk around, everyone stares at my chest to read what my shirt says.

Words just attract attention. Especially big ones.

I remember when I was in London, I used to share a flat with this really hot British Born Hong Kong girl.

She loves to wear pants like this.

And I find myself always staring down at her ass reading the words even if I already know what they say from before. I can't help it.. big words just BEG you to read them.

Let me prove a point.

DON'T READ THE NEXT LINE!!!

DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO READ THIS LINE?!?!?!

See? You read it anyway didn't you.

Fortunately that friend of mine is a nice girl, and she enjoyed the attention... right Julia? :P

Anyway, whatever shirt I was wearing could NOT even come close to the shirt another shirt another one of us was wearing.I mean.. how do you compete with a tag line like that?

You just can't... You can't!!!

Anyway after we're done with our dinner and have had enough time talking cock and enjoying the full moon that was coming up,
we would all adjourn and head home.

As I leave the old bungalow house, I would come heads on to a number of office buildings, one of which (the one in the center) is where our Nuffnang Penang office is located.

That is the fascinating thing about Penang.

You have a bit of a tropical island kind of feel, and at the same time you have a bit of a city feel with all the skyscrapers we have around.

After dinner, we'll all take a slow drive home and since it's Saturday night, it's time to go out.

So we go home, take off our silly shirts and dress up a little.
Now in every city in the world, there HAS to be a place where people can go to POSE and act cool.

In Penang, that place is a seaside bar called QE2.

That's right, I said seaside bar. Yes we eat by the sea, and party by the sea too :P

Now if I were an economist (which I actually am by training), I would consider measuring the performance of the economy in terms of people's drinking habits.

Why?

Because here's what I notice.

When the economy is booming (and all my friends feel rich), all my friends who go out will always buy bottles of good whiskey or vodka to drink.

When the economy is not exactly booming, all my friends... well... we drink beer, the cheapest option.So cheap that even the girls in our group are shy to show their faces on my blog thinking

"I can't be seen just drinking a few bottles of beer in QE2... no!!! no!!! I can only be seen if we're drinking Premier or Blue Label."

Too bad for you guys because this particular girl who covered her face is actually a really hot Penang girl. But fret no more, she'll be coming to KL to finish up her studies soon... so KL guys, please ensure you're single by then.

We spend the rest of the night there drinking in the rather open air seaside environment and people-watching.
Always interesting to see how some guys and girls pose in bars and clubs.

The poser guys who are often a little red from the alcohol would see each other then shout out loud
"BRO!!! HOW ARE YOU!?!?!? LONG TIME NO SEE MAN!!! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COME HERE TOO!!!"

Of which the translation of that is often
"Bro... I know we don't really know each other but act like you know me damn well okay? I got some chicks behind me that I need to impress".The poser girls on the other hand would scream like this when they see a fellow poser girl friend.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And then hop like little birdies to hug each other like they've never seen each other for 10 years when the truth is they just saw each other at the same time same place last week.

Of course the next question is.. do any of my friends act like this?No... we're more like the more passive crowd like this couple you see here.

We sit down... talk, joke... laugh... and sometimes when we run out of jokes to tell... we just sit there looking bored.

We really should start learning to pose one day though....

Posing is an art!

All pictures in this entry are taken by my trusty Panasonic DMX FX-33

Be Boss Stewie's Girlfriend

Yesterday I left my dear KL city for Singapore.

I'm here in Singapore for business and also possibly to catch up with a few Nuffnangers here in Singapore. Dammit it feels like forever since I was last in Singapore. Time sure flies.

I actually happened to read Pinksterz's blog this morning and happened to notice that she posted up one of these fun applications for anyone to apply to be her boyfriend.Which actually reminded me of something!

Months ago during some drinks with friends and after being teased repeatedly for being 'married-to-my-job', my drunk-self was STOOPID enough to agree to a bet with my friends that by 31st December 2007, I will have a girlfriend.

What was I thinking right? I mean, there I was thinking that hey... how bad can it be, it's so many months from now and I'm sure by then I would have found the time to find someone.

Well... I just realized that I now have ONE month left to New Year's and I ain't got a girlfriend yet!

And it doesn't help that Samantha here keeps rejecting me by flashing cameras in my eyes every time I border the subject!!!
So everyone, before it's too late and I lose the bet (which is actually a bottle of expensive whiskey. I know quite fahney right my friends... making a bet when drunk... but betting for more alcohol to get even more drunk.)

APPLY!!!!



Please NOTE that it says GIRLfriend... so guys... don't try to be funny!!!

(No I'm kidding guys, go ahead and apply to be my 'girlfriend'.. it'll be funny and I might even post your applications up hahahahahaha)

Dancing with the Hottest Chick in Velvet

After a dinner at Fridays' last Saturday night.
Joel: Come lets go Velvet tonight.

Me: What? Just me and you? Two sausages going to Velvet?

Joel: It'll be fun.. we'll go there and meet people.

Me: Uhh.. ok.

I figured that this is Joel Neoh I was talking to, ex-model, ex-reality tv show star and CEO of Youth Malaysia so how wrong could it go?

By the time we arrived at Velvet it was about 12AM and the party had already started. Guys were downing their drinks and girls were shaking their booties.

Joel and I headed first to the bar to get a drink then straight off to the dance floor to startedancing. Yes, Joel... like me is one of those guys that loves to dance. So we get along just fine.

True enough, within 30 minutes we met a couple of girls on the dance floor, exchanged names and started dancing away together.

I was having so much fun I didn't realize that I was being pushed away from our group on the dance floor.... which was about when I saw her.

Her slim figure was clad in a short green dress and high heels that were almost enough to take my attention of her big adorable eyes and beautiful face. She was no doubt the HOTTEST girl in the club that night.

She said a quick hi to Joel almost as if she knew him.

Then to my disbelief, she set her eyes on me and made a bee line for me, cutting across the dance floor. I looked at her stunned, thinking maybe she wanted to say hi or something but the minute she got in front of me, she put her arms around my neck body close to mine and started dancing away.

I couldn't believe it.... there she was, the hottest girl in Velvet that night and she was dancing with me.

It was a short dance though... someone from a distance called her and she went on her way (THAT BASTARD!).

She left me alone on the dance floor... alone... but with a big smile on my face.

I went back to the group I met where Joel was and started dancing with them again.

Later on that night I looked around and didn't manage to find her. I shouted in Joel's ear
"The hot chick's gone!"

Joel was calm and whispered loud enough that the loud Black Eyed Peas song playing in the background didn't drown his words.
"Don't worry... she'll come back".And came back she did.

This time while she made her way back, every other guy on the dance floor wanted to dance with her so she obliged and danced with them for a bit.

Then she made her way to Joel who was in front of me and danced for a while with Joel too.

Shortly after, she looked at me again and walked straight to me and started grinding her body against mine.

After another short but intense dance, I asked her politely
"How does it feel to be the center of attention in the club?"

She giggled and replied with a
"NOOOoooooo!!!!"

I said
"I'm serious... just about every guy AND GIRL in this club seems to want to dance with you".

Suddenly, she looked at me with a bit of anger in her face and said
"ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!"

I said
"What!?!?"

Then she said it again
"ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!?!"

And walked away.

I was confused.... really really confused... how the hell did I even "MOCK" THIS GIRL!?!?

Soon enough the night ended and it was time for us to leave.

I was walking to the car park with Joel when he told me
"You know that hot chick just now... I think she's lesbian... "

I was in shock!
"NOOOOooo!! SHE CAN'T BE!!! NOT WITH THE WAY SHE DANCES WITH GUYS!!!"

Joel replied
"Well maybe she's bi.. but I think she's somewhere along those lines".

Then it struck me that I had stressed that EVERY GIRL in the club too wanted to dance with her... NO WONDER SHE THOUGHT I WAS MOCKING HER... WTF!!!!

Next time I'll just stick with Joey's tried and true line
"How you doing...?"


PS: You can actually see that hot girl in the last picture I posted up. She's the girl in the green dress right in front. I know I know there are coincidentally 3 other girls in green dresses as well but this girl is the one to the most left. Even this photo doesn't do justice to how HOT she is.

All the pictures in this entry were taken with my trust Panasonic DMC-FX33

Businessweek Asia's Best Young Entrepreneurs

About one year ago, I was reading an online issue of Businessweek.

They had compiled their yearly list of "Asia's Young Entrepreneurs" which entailed the Top 25 Young Entrepreneurs in Asia from countries all around Asia.

Back then we were only working on the early stages of Nuffnang and was even yet to launch so I remember thinking to myself how young those entrepreneurs were, and yet they have achieved so MUCH!

It was something to look up to indeed. Curiously I remember to slide back and forth in slideshow of the 25 entrepreneurs to find the entrepreneur from Malaysia but there wasn't one.

All the entrepreneurs in that list were from Japan, China, India, Vietnam, Indonesia... even Singapore.. but not Malaysia.

I remember telling myself that maybe one day... with that dotcom which was about to be called Nuffnang... just maybe... I might be the Malaysian in that list.

A few days ago Businessweek released its list for this year which narrowed down 25 finalists for the Best Young Entrepreneur in Asia... and believe it or not. Ming and I are in it for Nuffnang.

I don't know how they picked us out but this paragraph on their website kind of sums it up.

This year, BusinessWeek's annual report on Asian entrepreneurship features 25 finalists for the title of Best Young Entrepreneur in Asia. BusinessWeek readers nominated candidates and the magazine's editors and reporters in Asia suggested names, too. We then narrowed down our list to 25 people whom we feel best represent the creativity and energy that's now increasingly common among startups across the region. Readers can see profiles of the Top 25 and vote for their favorite here.
It is humbling to be in that list not just because I seem to be the youngest there hence having "eaten the least rice" of the lot but because of all the achievements that the other Top 25 Entrepreneurs in Asia have under their belt.

Yet, I'm a little proud as a Malaysian. I don't know if I'm the only Malaysian in the list... but I DO know... that I'm glad our country made it this time.

To check out the article and view the slide show click here and here.

You guys don't have to vote for me okay?

It's already an honour that I'm even in that Top 25 list.

Youth Malaysia's '08 Launch

Some of you may or may not already know but I was invited to speak at PWTC for the upcoming Youth Malaysia Entrepreneurs event in January.

Last Thursday was the launch of Youth Malaysia '08 also held at PWTC and I was invited to go by Joel, the winner of reality TV show The Firm and the big boss at Youth Malaysia (Joel's not the one in the picture btw... that's just one of the "Donald Trump's" in the TV Show).
Funny thing is, just a day before the launch event at PWTC, I received a call from Joanne, one of the lovely people at Youth Malaysia.

"Hi Timothy, I just want to confirm if you'll be attending tomorrow".

Without hesitation I said
"Yes... I will be there to support. Don't worry!".

Then Joanne unsuspectingly said
"You do know that you'll be going up on stage to launch the event with our Deputy Minister of Youth and Sports right? So the dress code for you is formal."

My jaw dropped
"WHAT?!?!?! I thought I was just going there as part of the audience... I just brought my suit back to Penang for dry cleaning!!!".

I knew I had to find a suit anyway.

So that afternoon itself I headed to KLCC to buy a suit from... HUGO!!!
HAhahahahah yes... HUGO was my first choice simply because they've advertised with us at Nuffnang too!

I walked into the store, was treated very well by the very friendly staff and picked up a suit that was altered to fit in two hours.

I had Vivian, one of my colleagues at Nuffnang pick it up for me later on and I had everything set for the next day.

Damage to my credit card: RM3,000... but it was worth it. A suit is an investment.

The next day I put on my suit and head straight for PWTC.

I was punctual and the minute I arrived was showed around by the wonderful Joanne there who treated me like a VIP. The poor girl was so occupied with the other parts of the event I eventually told her not to worry about me and just go do her thing.

So she left after I was interviewed by some very friendly young journalists and taken some pictures of.Then I explored the event we had going there.

There were booths everywhere set up all by youths with all sorts of interests.

Yes, apparently DOTA these days is also considered a HOBBY/INTEREST... what has the world come to.

There were booths that focused more on mind games, booths focused on music but most importantly for me, there were booths focused on games like Counterstrike which really reminded me of my teenagerhood!

They call it Counterstrike Solo challenge where the winner is the one that kills the most people in the shortest amount of time.

Then there is this little thing called Project Eye where they got youths from all over to take pictures with a whiteboard and any message that they want to put on to it.

All the pictures are put on a wall like that.

I didn't want to miss the opportunity of being on the wall with a lot of other youths so I grabbed a whiteboard and marker myself.
And guess what I wrote.

I know, it's not too easy to read thanks to the flash and the size of the picture but the whiteboard says "Nuffnanger at Heart".

Soon enough, the event started and we all took our seats overlooking the stage. I was lucky enough to be put into VIP seating with a front row view of everything.

First Joel Neoh, the entrepreneur behind Youth Malaysia gave a very inspiring speech.

Then the biggest VIP for the night, the Deputy Minister of Youth and Sports gave his speech on why he supports youth development programs like these and why the government is trying to promote entrepreneurship.
By the time it was done, I went up on stage with some other youth entrepreneurs and officially launched the event, sort of like cutting ribbon but more of pressing a button. Youths should be more high-tech right? We don't cut ribbon.. we PRESS BUTTON!!

After the event, we all headed together for a Press Conference with the Deputy Minister and we all got together to take this picture for the press.
I don't blame you if you can't spot me in this picture since I'm overshadowed by all the other successful young entrepreneurs around me but I'm the one third from the right.

After the press conference and being HUMBLED by the other entrepreneurs there, we all adjourned for lunch.We chatted a bit and I got to take one picture with Joel and Kid Chan (left).

I know I know, Joel is tall and leng chai... don't ask me for his number... DON'T YOU DARE!!!

I jealous of him so I wun give it to you!!! HMPH!
Congratulations on the succesful event to Joel, Joanne and the rest of the Youth Malaysia team. It was one hell of an event!

I wish there was something like this when I was a teenager.

At least then maybe I would've spent a little less time on Counterstrike and a little more time trying to do something more productive.


All pictures in this entry were taken by my Panasonic DMC-FX33