Monday, November 12, 2007

The Top 5 Dumbest Things I Have Ever Said To A Girlfriend

So here I am in front of my laptop on a Sunday night trying to think of what to write on my blog for you guys to read.
I looked around my room for any objects that might give me inspiration and I came across this:

An old photo album that one of my ex-girlfriends use to have to compile all our memories together. When we broke up, she was supposed to have custody of the book but it never quite made it to her hands.
I looked through at all our memories and it dawned on me how bad a boyfriend I was at the time I was with her.

Then again I thought about how stupid a boyfriend I was to a lot of the girlfriends I have had in the past which inspired me to write something about... The Top 5 Dumbest Things I Have Ever Said To A Girlfriend.

Here goes.

Number 5:

Girlfriend: That's it! I am sick and tired of you spending all day in front of the stupid computer in this smokey cybercafe! Now you CHOOSE! COUNTERSTRIKE OR ME.... Because you CAN'T HAVE BOTH!!!

Me: *looks up from screen* Counterstrike.

When: When I was addicted to CS during secondary school.

Consequence: She broke up with me for 3 days but realized that I was too distracted by silly CS to care so she came back after 3 days and we got back together.

Number 4:


Girlfriend: Look! I am FED UP of watching your STUPID 24... It has been 8 hours already... can we NOT do SOMETHING ELSE?!?!

Me: Ok sure darling, anything you want. Could you move to the left a little, you're blocking the screen.
When: When I first discovered Jack Bauer

Consequence: NOTHING... that's right.. nothing happened... I got away with it! Bwahahahaha


Number 3:

Girlfriend: Darling I'm late.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!? HOW?!?!?! DAMMIT IT'S MUST'VE BEEN THAT STUPID NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS.. I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT THEN! I KNEW IT!!! BUT I THOUGHT WE BOTH COUNTED THE DAYS RIGHT??? WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?!?!! GET ME A CALENDAR!!!
When: When my girlfriend at the time was trying to tell me that she was late for her exam and would like me to drop her off instead of her driving there herself.

She was so nervous about being late that she said it in a very concerned tone as opposed to a typical kan cheong tone that anyone would have when they're late... hence the misunderstanding.

Consequence: Nothing immediately, but she laughed at it and called me an idiot after her exam.

Number 2:

Me: Dear you have bad breath.

When: The first time I made out with one of my girlfriends.

Consequence: Took me a LOT longer for me to get to Third Base.

Number 1:

Me: Darling.... I think I'm in love with another girl.


When: Before my father sat me down in his office and said "Son... sometimes... you just can't be too honest with your girlfriend".

Consequence: My girlfriend dumped me which was kinda what I had coming anyway since I was in love with someone else. But I later realized my feelings were wrong... and I tried to get that girlfriend back but she rejected me and I was heartbroken. That's called KARMA!

37 comments:

slacker said...

funny post!

cant help but notice that your mac is getting dirty :P

Boss Stewie said...

slacker: yah really getting dirty my mac!

Boss Stewie said...

eh actually that blakc mark.. is a shadow i think.. it's not dirt... at least not from wher ei can see it bwahaha

Jasonmumbles said...

I like #3! :D

So, which girl is which scenario? :P

Cutie said...

I have just started reading your blog and it's kinda farnee. But I just have to say that you are a 'MEANIE'(stewie) *grin* I like the scenario Number 3. Cheer my day up reading the post. *smile* Anyway, don't be a 'meanie' anymore k. Hehe....

Genova said...

number 5....happens all the time during those days. lol

Kimberlycun said...

actually, you're quite the epitome of an asshole.

Michael Song said...

i can sense that boss is about to announce something soon...

Boss Lepton said...

Exactly...... Number 1 agreed

niama i still can't believe u actually said that. Blardy hell, the great man is always correct :D


p.s. tiah was the laughing stock among us for this silly line

Shu said...

Wow. Lucky you had very nice girlfriends. You could have got physically abused. =x

Boss Stewie said...

jason: hahaha kenot say

cutie: yah i know.. i was quite notty huh :(

genova: yah.. all the time

kimberly: yah yah i regret okie!!!

michael: announce what wor

boss: hahaha yah

shu: yes i did have nice gfs

Twinkle said...

Stewie.. No. 3 is my favourite... hehehehehe...

I think I can imagine u r "pucat lesi" with no blood left when ur 'gf' said that.

Ricci's Chica said...

jeng2...u treat ur gfs like tat meh..hmmm..but ur such a funny n nice gy, tats why u managed to get away wif it..but anyways...i tink u wil make a good bf n partner ...*wink, wink*

Alexandrea said...

Wahlau eh, boss.. If you were my bf I'd boot you out of my life so fast you'd leave skid marks on the floor... XD

But you must have been nice when you weren't being a 'typical asshole'.. If not how to have so many girlfriends?

Boon said...

support u man!! hahahha~~

CS, once u touch it, u r done!

Chapree Da Grande said...

I do the #5...every day. When she complained, I will say "What can I do? I'm a gamer!". Not many girl out there can accept that reason. >:)

#3 is the classic one. Itu lah, notty too much already :P

Stella said...

Haha, u have a long way to learn how 2 impress a lady...but its good to know that learning from mistake rite?..Relationship is about give n take....all da best in future k

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Bossy how many gf do u have??? Out of so many gf which one u 'enjoy' the most? Ok let me guss the one who allow u to play 'counterstrick'! I am sure she allow u to 'gun' her!!
Have a nice day bossy!

clement said...

your dad teaches you not to be too honest? hmmm... must be world greatest dad

G Wan said...

gawd!! my bf just did no.5 to me over msn.

"my helicopter saved many many ppl in the war... it will reach u soon.. stay well!"

there was once he said on the phone, "those kids are waiting for me to save them, ttyl!"

how can??? urgh. pighead!!! (scolding u on behalf of ur ex in scenario 5 too)

but i gotta admit it's kinda cute la :p

hello btw :)

kimfei said...

lol...dun go so straight forward ba..try to round n round then slowly imply some thing to her ma..LOL

Cheng Chun said...

There is still time yet boss. Jia you!!! :P

Boss Stewie said...

twinkle: yes.. i was so pale.... and felt soooo weakkkk


alex: hehehe yes i cann be nicee

boon: hahahaha yes !

chapree: hahahahaha.. i understand u dude.. i duno where u can find such an understanding gf

stella: haah yes yes.. i learn!

hor ny: hahaha u really damn fahney lar hor ny

clement: hahahaha he is

g wan: aww... so you find our actions cute? yay!

kimfei: like how leh?

cheng chun: hehehe :P

CBB said...

heheh.. Boss has a lot of experience. Got a new one yet? =P

Victor said...

eh boss...so is samantha the new 1 ah? hehehehe....dun shy shy la ya...tell us la...we'll keep secret for u k. hehehehehehe

Michelle said...

so hurtful the counterstrike answer..
notti u.

but it's really funny though.. thinking back silly memories.. haha..

Jayelle said...

wahh, number 1.. i'm surprised you're still alive and well today. don't do this again to the next girl okay? no girl deserves to be hurt like that.


And gamer boys...ARGH!!! even though it's my bunch of guy friends who are gamers not my boyfriend but i still roll my eyes when they talk about "tah-kei"-ing later.

lovie said...

Counterstrike over your girlfriend? That's a bit dumb. Bad breath? You really have guts. Hehe. Hope you learn from your mistakes.

Boss Stewie said...

cbb: no lar.. no gf... bo lang ai

victor: please lar.. i wish

michelle: hahahaha yah i know.. i'm sorry.. i will never choose cs over a girl again

jayelle: hahaha i have passed that gaming phase now okie?

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

haha im late eh..u must have been too cheap skate to buy the pill ar..kekek..

William Leong said...

wenqi!!!... boss said it... open the doors for him laa... u also dun shy shy ;)

phingy said...

lol, honesty is sometimes not the best policy la wei ! =D

Cerene Lim said...

Gosh!! Cannot imagine how many girls' hearts you have broken with your comments!!! Haha... Typical guy... :)

Yii Toong said...

Once successful, you must invite us all to your wedding!

Michelle said...

u wont choose cs over a gf?
y? cos cs not popular d? hahaha..
so dota? hahahha.. or cos u stop playing games d?? hehe..

iamthewitch said...

Glad to know you knew those things you said were DUMB! :P

belle said...

samantha!!! u reading this anot?? scroll to boss's reply to victor!!
how boss? wan us to help u out anot jek? xDDD