I looked around my room for any objects that might give me inspiration and I came across this:
An old photo album that one of my ex-girlfriends use to have to compile all our memories together. When we broke up, she was supposed to have custody of the book but it never quite made it to her hands.
I looked through at all our memories and it dawned on me how bad a boyfriend I was at the time I was with her.
Then again I thought about how stupid a boyfriend I was to a lot of the girlfriends I have had in the past which inspired me to write something about... The Top 5 Dumbest Things I Have Ever Said To A Girlfriend.
Girlfriend: That's it! I am sick and tired of you spending all day in front of the stupid computer in this smokey cybercafe! Now you CHOOSE! COUNTERSTRIKE OR ME.... Because you CAN'T HAVE BOTH!!!
Me: *looks up from screen* Counterstrike.
When: When I was addicted to CS during secondary school.
Consequence: She broke up with me for 3 days but realized that I was too distracted by silly CS to care so she came back after 3 days and we got back together.
Number 4:Girlfriend: Look! I am FED UP of watching your STUPID 24... It has been 8 hours already... can we NOT do SOMETHING ELSE?!?!
Me: Ok sure darling, anything you want. Could you move to the left a little, you're blocking the screen.
When: When I first discovered Jack Bauer
Consequence: NOTHING... that's right.. nothing happened... I got away with it! Bwahahahaha
Girlfriend: Darling I'm late.
Me: WHAT?!?!?!? HOW?!?!?! DAMMIT IT'S MUST'VE BEEN THAT STUPID NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS.. I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT THEN! I KNEW IT!!! BUT I THOUGHT WE BOTH COUNTED THE DAYS RIGHT??? WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?!?!! GET ME A CALENDAR!!!
When: When my girlfriend at the time was trying to tell me that she was late for her exam and would like me to drop her off instead of her driving there herself.
She was so nervous about being late that she said it in a very concerned tone as opposed to a typical kan cheong tone that anyone would have when they're late... hence the misunderstanding.
Consequence: Nothing immediately, but she laughed at it and called me an idiot after her exam.
Me: Dear you have bad breath.
When: The first time I made out with one of my girlfriends.
Consequence: Took me a LOT longer for me to get to Third Base.
Me: Darling.... I think I'm in love with another girl.
When: Before my father sat me down in his office and said "Son... sometimes... you just can't be too honest with your girlfriend".
Consequence: My girlfriend dumped me which was kinda what I had coming anyway since I was in love with someone else. But I later realized my feelings were wrong... and I tried to get that girlfriend back but she rejected me and I was heartbroken. That's called KARMA!