Something I can never understand.
Every girlfriend I have ever had in the past... buys Cleo... and every one of them... LOVES CLEO'S 50 MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS edition.I never quite understood why but in the past I have learned to accept it.
Because if you look at an eligible bachelor and say "What a LOSER... how the hell can you call him eligible?"
Then you're jealous.
And if you say "Wow... that guy is hot!"
Then you're gay.
So the best thing is... NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. In fact, when forced to read the magazine, flip past the 50 Most Eligible Bachelors and go to the more interesting content at the back.
Such as the sex column where you get to see questions like
"My wife screams the name of another man every time we're in bed... Oh CLEO.. what do I do?"
I mean.... it's human nature that we love hearing about stories like this.
Just like when we were in school and we would make sure we'd catch every Thursday's edition of Big Bro in The Star.
"Dear Big Bro, my boyfriend says he loves me long time and he wants me to make sexy time with him but I don't think I'm ready yet... what should I do? -Confused Girl".
Notice how we always read the questions but only SKIM through the answers (or sometimes ignore them completely)?
Because their answers are all sooo.... politically correct.
Big Bro would reply
"Dear Confused Girl, Your virginity is like a precious diamond that once tainted can never be perfect again. If your boyfriend truly loves you like he says he does, he will be willing to wait for until you are ready. If he is not prepared to wait then he does not love you and truly does not deserve you."
SEE??? TYPICAL. I bet we would all be reading the answers more often if Big Bro was used to replying like this
"Dear Confused Girl... the only thing you should be confused about right now is which brand condom to use... so pick Durex and go HUMP LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!!!".
Anyway back to my friend's Cleo magazine that I was reading (*Whew I keep getting distracted sometimes). After I read past the sex column, I came across the QA Medical section where I saw this question. "I'm 23 and recently I've been experiencing a burning sensation whenever I urinate. Five minutes later, I'd feel the urge to go again but only pass little urine. It's disturbing my sleep. Am I having some kind of infection?"
Brilliant question from a rather intelligent lady. Why brilliant?
Well because... when you're "experiencing a BURNING SENSATION" when you PEE... what any smart person would do is to write a letter to Cleo's Medical QA Column and wait for the next issue to come out for an answer.
That's perfect right? I mean it makes perfect sense!
So now we all know what to do if we ever feel that burning sensation when we pee. Right? Right?
WHEN YOU FEEL A BURNING SENSATION, YOU GO SEE A DAMN DOCTOR!!! YOU DO NOT WRITE TO BIG BRO OR DEAR THELMA AND ASK WHAT TO DO THEN UNLESS YOU ENJOY THE BURNING SENSATION AND IT MAKES YOU HIGH!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!?