Friday, November 30, 2007

The Hot Girls Always Go For The Ah Bengs

It sucks to NOT be an Ah Beng these days.

Let me tell you why.

We were just in the office today on a regular Friday afternoon.

All the girls were busy working hard, cracking their heads and rushing to finish whatever work they have left before the weekend starts.The guys on the other hand, were moderately busy.

Yes only moderately busy, because Nicholas turned around and asked me all of a sudden
"Eh Tim, who is the hottest female blogger that you know?"

I had one girl in mind.

One girl so hot that I said
"Yat... this girl I know is sooo hot... you would leave your girlfriend!" (Note to Yat's gf: Please don't kill me.. figure of speech only okie? kekeke)
It didn't take long for me to say out the URL and it took an even shorter amount of time for the guys to quickly type that URL into their browser and check her out.

3 seconds passed for the blog to load which was when I heard the first
"WAHH!!!! SHE IS SO DAMN HOT!!!"

I sat back and smiled...
"Yes I know.... some more she's an exclusive Nuffnanger" (which makes any girl more attractive to the guys who work at Nuffnang... I know.. we're sick.. we're all sick!!!).
The girls on the other hand.... well you would expect the girls to look over and say
"CHEH!!! You guys have no taste lar!".

But they all looked over and were speechless for a few seconds until I said
"HOT LEH!?!??!"

And they all nodded their head in sequence and said
"Yes... really hot".

We were indulging in the excitement when one of the girls burst our bubble and asked
"Got boyfriend ar?"

I replied
"SURE GOT BF LAR!!!! And I can tell you that NONE of us in this office here stand a chance... why?? Because the world is not fair... in case you haven't noticed already... all the hot girls are always with the Ah Bengs... and you guys are not Ah Bengs!"

And it's true.

Somehow, Ah Bengs are just more attractive to hot girls.

All my hot friends are with Ah Bengs. Even one of my ex-gfs left me for an Ah Beng.


My brother once told me that no hot girl wants to date a good guy. They want to date the bad boys.. and try to turn them good (at least until they realize that it's not gonna happen).

That's right.

You can go up to the girl and say
"Hi Lily. My name is John Rowling and I am a VP at Goldman Sachs, the youngest VP in the history of the firm and did I mention that I was also featured on Forbes and BusinessWeek Magazine."

Lily will not sound impressed and won't even give you any attention at all.

But if Ah Beng goes up to her and say
"Hello Lily. My name is Lee Ah Beng... I drive a car with a BIG EKZOS (exhaust)"

Lily would fall to her knees and say
"OOOOoooooohhh.... HOW BIG?!?!?"
Ah Beng by then would feel assured of himself and say
"Veli veli BIG... can fit three papayas inside... so you wan to go hang out? I promise I will be good boyfriend and I don't have a job now so I can spend all my time with you!"

By then Lily would be squealing away
"OOOHH... TELL ME MORE... TELL ME MORE!!!!"

"Well my Ekzos... GOT HELLO KITTY WAN ALSO".

And Ah Beng gets Lily.

All the other guys.... like us... get left behind and it doesn't matter if you have a good job and drive a Mercedes or BMW... you just don't have the STYLE, the HAIR COLOUR, the EXHAUST, the FOUL WORDS and the CHARM to be an Ah Beng.

Face it!

Life is such!

The pretty girl will never date you :(

Doesn't it suck to NOT be an Ah Beng :(

50 comments:

liyiesther.C said...

Boss!!! WHY o WHY!!! You always pic fugly pictures of me wan...

[fong88] said...

ah beng more secure..
maybe got tai kor background..
LOL!!

Boss Stewie said...

esther: HAHAH!! candid more shiok mah.. evne my own pics also i simply put up wan mah

fong: YAH... more secure!!!

Skyler said...

Hamsap boss.

JASIMINNE IS THE HOTTEST ONE OKAY

Chee Hsien said...

find ah lian to become gf la.. hahahahaha...

Boss Stewie said...

skyler: HAHAHH!!!

chee hsien: haahahha ah lian also wan ah beng mah

Boon said...

girls like excitement! dammit! ah beng can give them those excitements! bulls~~~~

Boss Stewie said...

boon: *SNIFF*

Kimberlycun said...

im Nuffnang exclusive and got an ahbeng bf....must be me!

awww tim...

Boss Stewie said...

LOL kim

JenKin Yat said...

i wonder is there any AhBeng Academy here *fingers rub on chin*

TenthOfMarch said...

Errr...so what's the URL? Not like I wanna see how pretty she is but just want to make sure you not "blowing water" :-P

If you want hot girls, just become "Chow Ah Beng" by night and CEO by day. Not that tough right? Upgrade your ride with a Hello Kitty exhaust lah.

Boss Stewie said...

jenkin: hahaha sounds like a business plan

tenth: hehe msg me on msn i tell u

rukawa said...

hmmm... i think beauty and the geek is somewhat true also. There even a reality show for it. Another competitor for the good guy...

Mic. Tham said...

yaloh why girls like bad boys eh? brief me! good boys too dull? NONO i think because bad boys know the way to show that they are so-called good but good boys lack the expression..

FeR said...

good girls attracted to bad boys theory - yup, heard before.

But hot girls with ahbeng? *ehhhh.....*

doubtful.

*haha*

Michelle said...

awww.. come on..
ah beng cant choose much.. so only girls choose them...
but YOU.. priceless gem..one hot dude got choice to choose lagi hot +sexy girls mar.. hahahaha
slowly wait ler.. your "the one" will come.. and definitely a hot one..
can feel many girls crushing on you alredy.. lol.

Super Gentleman said...

boss ah plz enlighten me... my guai kia frens call me ah beng, while my ah beng frens call me guai kia... den which 1 m i lehh?? y until so old nw haven gt gf b4 lehh?? so d sad case 1... LoL...

danielctw said...

you know, there is truth in ur words. Always the hot girls goes for the Ah Bengs. It sucks being not Ah Beng, but time will tell.

On the funny note though.. fuuwoh!!!!

Boss Stewie said...

rukawa: really?? i don't see that happening to me

mic: so you like bad boys too?

fer: eh.. go walk around sungai wang for one day on a sat.. you'll see them everywhere

michelle: haih i wish what u say were true.. if it were i wouldn't have a problem meeting by dec 31st deadline

super: hahah so you're the pai kia of the guai kia but the guai kia of the pai kia lor... simply said :P

daniel: yah! sniff

Signature said...

most 'hot girls' are ah lians anyway.hence, they only match ah bengs.

HK said...

so true boss, so true.

May Zhee said...

Girls who don't straight jump into bed with you after that 'I am John Rowling and I'm with Goldman Sachs...' are STUPID girls!

Golddigger girls, but still.

niss.. said...

thats is so true...which is why i think my cousin get all the hot girls...!!

Boss Stewie said...

sig: hha dude.. you're gonna get flamed for saying that most hot girls are ah lians!!!

hk: :P hehehe sad rite?

mayzhee: hah!

niss: yah! ur cousin is an ah beng too? lucky bastard!

Suet Li said...

i'm not exclusive to nuff and i don't have an ah beng bf, sure wasn't me =( wtf
shit i come your blog then i teringat kotex wtf yes will do now

Rose said...

eh... all guys also like act sweet gals waaaaaaaaaaaattt... any gal act sweet, fragile, and all guys will rush to her.. no?

Boss Stewie said...

suet: who say u not exclusive? dun blarf!

rose: hahahaha yes that's right for me!

Cely said...

Boss.. u got potential to be ah beng.. i m sure u can get hot girl as gf soon.. hahah

Sammy says: said...

wtf xD
that's not true!
hot girls i know despises ah bengs xD
hahahaha, boss, r u degrading hot girls??? *raises eyebrow*

Wingz said...

oi dun bruff ok? why i dunch habe gf wan?!!! WHYYY!!!! *howlsss*

CBB said...

haha but its not nice to be an ah beng lar boss.. oh well i know some girls who have lots of attention but arent ah bengs=)

Genova said...

lol. bengs only show up when they get hot chicks. when they don't, they don't even turn up. that's why you see bengs' are always the winner

amb3r1te said...

the funny thing about ah bengs is that they always think that someone else is the ah beng & that they themselves are not ah beng at all -_-"

dun misunderstand, im not saying u! i just mean it generally :D

-kristin said...

i dated a guy with all the traits of an ah beng (but does not look like one) who dumped me for a super ah lian shampoo girl.

i'm still mourning over the loss and am wondering what does a shampoo girl have that a lady climbing the corporate ladder doesn't.

what gives?!

:'(

Cheng Chun said...

Don't tell me I need to dye my hair blonde blonde ah. Cham lorrrrrr. Boss got any tips or not. :P

Lucia Leong said...

hello! have been reading ur blog for some time, so anyway, just wanna find out the hottie's blog. heh heh, will u post it up here? =)

Michael Song said...

couldnt agree wif u more boss... but im too old to be beng... DAMN!

Neko Hime said...

boss stewie, there are also cases of hot guys going for ah lians.... works both ways.. (^_^)V

Eries said...

gila ah?

seriously, the ah bengs get the girls cos they either look for money or they are inner ah leans.

seriously, rather go get a less pretty girl with cohesive conversational skills than a pretty girl with almost zero capability to impress your parents with speech (unless all u want is to bang her)

no insult to pretty girls. the ones who end up with normal un ah beng people are incredible people :)

tak mau golden haired dragonball fella as a bf... *shivers*

Boss Stewie said...

cely: where got potential... i wear glasses.... natural black hair.. chiuu kenot make it lor

sammy: what?!?!? where do you meet those hot girls?

wingz: haha!!!

cbb: you mean guys who have a lot of attention but not ah bengs? but that could be a little different that having a hot gf... do u know a lot of guys wtih hot gfs that are not ah bengs


genova: hahaha that's another way of looking at it

amber: hahaha it's ok.. if u say i'm an ah beng i happy :P haha

kristin: so it works both ways huh? i feel your pain!

cheng: need to dye ur hair blond. or at least highlight!

lucia: hahaha i won't disclose in public ler.. if she find out she will throw a fit at me hahaha


michael: hahahaha but you have deep pockets too.. so that's a plus point!

neko: hahaha okok i'm beginning to learn that

Boss Stewie said...

eries: hahaha yay! i'm glad you feel that way... guys like me are safe then!

Elvin said...

Lol..a 10/10 for the hello kitty exhaust!

Sammy says: said...

LOL, in school! xD
boss, they're probably too young for you lah, hahahahaha!

Jacquelyn said...

i'm sure you wouldn't want to be an ah beng, would you?

ps: any plans for xmas?? :)

Stella said...

geeks are cute! :)

carrot said...

boss: can u give me the link for the ah lian which u say damm hot ? i dont seem to get the link. tq

smallstripes said...

i guess this is why ive made up my mind to get a wira..change it to an evo..or a kancil with super big wings...maybe GT wings.duno i can go in carpark anot..cut my suspension to half..so it will be super low tat i have to carry my car over humps..and er..listen to bass only music..

if you ever see me as a famous blogger among hot ones...it would probably means this technique works..also i gotto change my languge abit horr..talk talk ah beng bit bit abit yeng ma..then more leng lui lik me 1.

ok not doing a good work with it.peace out

caroline. said...

Lolz!!!true..but not all of them date ah bengs. Most of my girlfriends who are cun shit hates ah beng. Girls nowadays have different taste lah. Ah beng are craps to most girls. Only Ah lians love Ah Bengs. No offense.=)

mirror said...

ahahhahaha good post!