Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Fort Cornwallis - The Penang Fort

Many tourists look at Penang as a teeny little tropical island north of Peninsular Malaysia.
An island where people sip ice-tea and lie on the beaches.
You know what's wrong with islands like this?

It gets mistaken as the kind of island where if there ever were a war, its native Penangites will defend the island with coconuts and fruit drinks.

Well HMPH!

That's why to make sure that Hasan didn't get the wrong idea about Penang,

I brought him to Fort Cornwallis while he was here in Penang.YES... PENANG HAS A FORT!!!

But NOBODY PAYS ENOUGH ATTENTION TO IT!!!

WHY?!?!?

Because everyone is too busy with Kota A Famosa in Malacca.
Ohhh ohhh!!!

Kota A Famosa this ... Kota A Famosa that...

Does anyone not consider the feelings of the old Penang Fort up north?!?!?!

All it wanted was a little bit of attention!

But nooo.... Kota A Famosa gets all the fame and tourists all flock there to see one wall.

That's right... ONE WALL...

Whereas Fort Cornwallis up in Penang has a BIG STATUE of Francis Light!

Guns and Hats for us to wear!


Lots and lots of prison to lock up bad people!

And four walls.

That's right... NOT ONE... NOT TWO... NOT THREE... FOUR #*&*ING WALLS!!!!

And CANNONS too.

Not just ONE or two cannons.

A MILLION OF THEM... ENOUGH TO SHOOT DOWN THAT NAVY SHIP AT SEA!!!
So why does nobody care about Fort Cornwallis?

Is it because it has MORE than ONE WALL???

NO!

Is it because the Fort has NEVER seen battle before ever in its history?

NO!

IT'S BECAUSE OF THE DAMN CHAR KWAY TEOW!When tourists come to Penang... what do they come for?

They come BLINDED BY THE FOOD and NOTHING ELSE!!!

All that FOOD OVERSHADOWS our history and the existence of our FORT CORNWALLIS!!!

Shame on you Penangites for making such good Char Kway Teow.
One day... ONE DAY if our shores are invaded by an army of imaginary armoured monkeys shall you learn to appreciate our dear Fort Cornwallis.

If that day ever comes... I jom this cannon ok?I like this cannon. Can roll wan.

The rest of you can go fight for the other cannons.

I'm taking this one.



18 comments:

ling ling said...

morning Boss,
>.< Yeah I am d 1st...hahaha...
I dunno tat penang oso hav a fort leh...10s 4 d info, boss...
everytime i think of penang, i wil definitely think abt food as well, n dun 4get the laksa n cendol n gurney drive hawker stalls..yummy..yummy...i am hungry now :s...

[fong88] said...

i guess u need some break from your work d..hahahha..:P

BaLQiz said...

Great way to teach history man! For a die-hard-history-hater, you managed to teach me sumtin today on Malaysia det I never know :-)

Cheers!

KY said...

Only a real penang dude will use the word "JOM" this way. BEST!

pinksterz said...

CKT! I WANT CKT!!!! T_______T

Our Journey said...

go to Penang War Museum, you can see more things there.

Jannah said...

The last picture very suggestive. Is it really that big? Wink wink?

I didn't know the co-founder of Nuffnang is in Penang. You should write about the new Gurney Drive, that stretch of reclaimed land near Queensbay Mall.

Some more got cool riding actions, cars, bikes during the night :)

k0k s3n w4i said...

I've been to fort cornwallis k!

Here's why A Famosa beats the sh!r out of fort cornwallis;

We don't charge entrance fee.

(by the way, A famosa isn't one wall. it's just a gate -.-)

Cerene Lim said...

Gosh... You made me drool at the food..
Can you be nice to send it over to Sgp please? hehe
See... You blog both things but I only rem one.. OoOoOOops!!! ;P

Shaolin said...

I been to Cornwallis a few times ok, probably more than you :P

Imm Ai said...

thank goodness i know bout the fort too. :)
as a matter of fact, i jus visited it a few days back. hehe.

XiangMei said...

Eleh!!!!!!!!!!!!

i went there before lah ok!
not very special nia..
all u can see are mostly cannons,like everywhere!!!!
At there mostly all malay...

Anyways i'm proud because i'm from penang!!

and the char koay teow there sucks!and freaking expensive!only stupid people will line up just for the char koay teow...aiya,other stall koay teow much much much better than the old lady!The char koay teow auntie very rude!doesn't care about her customer feelings...only know how to scold her customer nia when they ask her something...

belle said...

if yr jue jue is that big.....

Genova said...

arh...damn.... the char koay teow really makes me feel homesick now..

sc_Bone said...

if the imaginary army really attacks, i'd think i will lure them to eat the best CKT, BKT, ice kacang etc that the food is so nice that they forgot they came for war!

in short, i choose FOOD over the cannons
ANY given time
xD

Clare said...

Summore you position the canon in the final pic so strategically 'there'...I'm wondering how far can you tembak. Wakakakakakkakaka!!!

Suet Li said...

shit u lah char kuey teow here char kuey teow there! u never care about my feelings one isit! T______T *throws burger away
I HATE BURGERS/PIZZA/AMERICAN FOOD *emo wtf

howe said...

hi,
just dropping by to say that I enjoy reading ur blog, keep it up. yes, I know its a very boring, standard comment.