Friday, January 11, 2008

Shopping with Girls

At least ONCE in his lifetime, every man... will have to experience shopping with a girl.

It may be a friend, a girlfriend, a girl you have a crush on, or it may be your mother... at least ONCE in your life, you WILL have to go shopping with a girl.

Today I went to do my shopping duties with a girl.

Now every girl you will go shopping with in this generation... EVERY GIRL... will find her way to Vincci.Don't you ever DISS Vincci man.

She can be the nicest most polite girl to you ever... but the minute you say
"Hey I think Vincci sucks... can we NOT go there this time?"

She's gonna tell you to F*#K OFF!!!

I mean look at the place.

It's almost ALWAYS full.

With ladies walking around, picking up the shoes on the side and throwing it on the floor to try it on.

Now as a guy... there is a couple of things that you are expected to do when going shopping with a girl.

Number 1: Face it... you're a Bell Boy.CARRY HER BAGS.... it don't matter how many bags there are or how many hands you have... YOU CARRY EM ALL!!!

Number 2: YOU LOVE SHOE SHOPS.

You do....

You know why??

Because shoe shops like Vincci ALWAYS have seats for people to sit and try on shoes but MOST IMPORTANTLY for the men to sit on while they wait for their women to shop away.So guys... I'm sure you've seen this all before.

I mean you'll be at some shopping mall or in Vincci.

Then you'll see one guy sitting alone there on the bench and in his hands many many paper bags for Isetan, MNG, Zara etc etc.... and you might think to yourself

"HAHAHAHA!!! What a loser.... probably gets whipped by his girlfriend every day".Well don't laugh... why???

Because I used to laugh and make fun of guys like that... but sooner or later... it will be YOU sitting down in that shoe shop... more than once in your lifetime too.Trust me guys.

Number 3: ALWAYS BE AROUND to give your opinion.

The truth is... your opinion isn't gonna matter to her. It really isn't.

You can tell her that you think the blue shoe is really nice... but she's going to pick the pink one anyway.

But you STILL HAVE TO GIVE YOUR OPINION.

And you BETTER act like you care about the opinion you're giving her.

When asked
"Hey.. do you think the pink or blue shoe nicer?"
NEVER SAY
"Anything lah".

Then she'll think that you don't care!

and NEVER EVER SAY
"Uhh that wan!" (And point in between both shoes).

Because then she'll KNOW that you don't care!

What you should do is pause for a while, take a good look at the shoes she's holding in her hands and say
"The blue one makes you look more like a professional working woman but the pink one makes you look more like the happy Sunday girl".

Don't even think about whether that answer makes sense or not.... because it doesn't matter.
What matters is that you'll be scoring some brownie points since you've shown her that you've answered her in more than 1 word.

Number 4: Always give her a reason to NOT want to bring you back to the shop.

This is important. If you don't do this last step... then you're going to be shopping bell-boy for LIFE.

DO YOU WANT TO BE SHOPPING BELL-BOY FOR LIFE?!?!

So there are many ways you can go about doing this... from picking a fight with the sales girl there or almost dropping or breaking any of the stuff there.

For me... I pretended to be really really fascinated by the mirrors on the floor that helped you look at your own feet.

After she was done she came over and said
"Okay lets go"

And I said
"Wait wait... this is really cool. I've never seen my feet like this before."

And kept staring at the reflection of my shoe in the mirror.

She'll sit next to you... then 5 minutes later she'll say
"Can we go now?"

And then say
"Wait wait... this is really cool... I wanna remember this... wait let me take a picture of this".

Then once you whip out the camera you take as many shots as you can and take your time taking them as well.

Just say that the previous shot you took was a little blurry or that someone walking pass was blocking your shot.

Stall as much as 15-20 minutes.

Until she says
"EH IF WE DON'T GO NOW I CAN'T SHOP FOR MY NEW BAG ALREADY!!!!"

Then you give in and say
"Okay okay... sorry sorry... nevermind I'll finish this when we come back again. Are we coming back here again?"

Then trust me... you will never EVER have to set foot in that shop again.

NEVER... (Unless of course you're STUPID enough to later on tell her that it was all part of your evil plan and laugh out loud like Dr.Evil).So do all these steps for each shop and sooner or later she's going to think that you're a sweet guy for always offering to go shopping with her... but she'll never bring you.. because you waste time!

48 comments:

Michelle said...

ROFL!
Okay, I'm a female.
But this is so true :P

Boss Stewie said...

hahaha!!!

Cerene Lim said...

Yea Yea!! Another entry!!! Hehe
OMg... !!!
How apt have you described it...!!!!
Can and cannot understand why you do not have a gf...
Knows her mind yet acts against it according to make it to your wishes..
Haha
Mr. "Nice" Guy!!!
Looking forward to seeing your Mrs. Nice
(Note : No inverted commas. Haha)

Resa said...

But you still love girls, dont you?
Girls rock! =D

Ivy said...

I must not show this entry to my bf!!! Very true though... Good job!

Jasonmumbles said...

Hmm, who's your new gf?

I have a feeling its not Wen Qi in that pic.

§oŁЇtǺ®ÿ ®o§ě said...

erm...i am a girl and i 100% hate/loathe vincci...like u said it...its always pack!!..its like a freaking war zone in there...i aint going to pick a fight with a lady over a pair of shoes...they are a bunch of scary people... i enjoy my sneakers...Thank You! xD but shopping with girls do have its positives...imagine they go shopping for bikinis and they want a man's opinion...woo hoo...lucky u eh?? *winks* =P

~em~ said...

hahaha... funny post..

Suet Li said...

WTF
wenqi i'll shop with you next time lah when i come back, don't need this bell boy wtf

Super Gentleman said...

LoL... ooo gud 1... cz my next duty is on monday, and guess wad vincci is open 2... die lohhh... i dun hav camera boh... i think i will pick a fight wif d salesgirl lahh... LoL...

Boss Stewie said...

Cerene: hahaha yes yes.. unfortunately I think most girls read my blog so all my cheeky ‘tricks’ never work ☹ sniff

Resa: yeah I still do :P

Ivy: hahahaha lol

Jason: hehehehe nobody ler

Solitary: WARZONE! That’s the PERFECT word to describe it

Em: glad you liked it :P

Suet li: OI! Go talk to her on MSN!

Super: yeah… easy wan if want to start.. just pick up a fight and say “WHY YOUR SERVICE SO SLOW?!?!?” or .. “WHY YOU BRING MY DAHLING THE WRONG SHOE?!?!”

KY said...

we should start a bellboy anonymous support group!

chocolat-latte' said...

eh.. my guy friend loves shopping with me and yes.. I HATE shopping with him..
JUST BECAUSE HE MAKES ME SPEND LIKE HELL..

and I listen to his opinion cause he's very fashionable and no.. he's not gay..
I think guys opinion is really important cause it's.. ehem.. us attracts them.. unless they purposely make us look crappy..

just yesterday.. went shopping for shoes.. he picked up a pair where I don't think I'll wear it but when it's on.. omfg.. it look so goood!

ta-dah!

heh.

chocolat-latte' said...

by the way.. vincci do sucks big time..

not because it's pack.. it's just.. not comfortable.. and it's not lasting..

liyiesther.C said...

hmm... show shopping is fun okay!!!

liyiesther.C said...

*shoe

Shaolin said...

Vincci is like the Malaysian girls church or something.

They can't walk past it without looking at it, going in it, trying shoes..

They can't go in a mall without mentioning Vincci or trying to locate it.

There's even some Vincci deluxe kinda boutique now.

ling ling said...

HAHAHAHA, its so funny la Boss,
but u really did a good job..cos shopping wiv a gal really need lots n lots of patient n energy...hehehe..who is tat lucky gal har?
I am not a Vincci fan 2, Vincci alwiz dun hav my size 1...T.T

pollyneedsacracker said...

If you can't beat them, join them. Vinci (and sometimes Nose) is my new must stop 'temple', where I often pay RM39.90, or RM49.90 for 'blessings'.

-The Man Who Sold The World-

pinkpau said...

wenqi!!! me and you and suetli go shopping!! we would never do reverse psychology on you!!

stewie i take back my snail!!

Alice said...

Vincci Rocks!
Guys, face the reality.

CBB said...

HAHAHA zomg so true yet still its sometimes fun to go shopping with them you can always learn a thing or two bout female stuff so you dont have a problem of getting presents for them during birthdays /valentine's day/ whatever =)

niss.. said...

stewie likes shoppin in shoe store cus many girl actually...accidentally shows off their breast or bra cus they bent down to try their shoes...bad stewie!! bad bad boy!!!!

Boss Stewie said...

Ky: yeah!!! I second that!

Choc: ohh I heard that not comfortable thing before.. but hey.. it’s really reasonably priced rite!

Esther: hmph!

Shaolin: hahahah Malaysian girls church… LOL


Ling: hahahaha why? What is your size

Polly: yah! Join em

Pink: hahaha wait wait.. pls don’t.. I .. like.. that snail

Alice: we’ve faced it already

Cbb: yah.. just buy shoe right.. and always size 5 rite?

Niss: haha… pls ler… that never happens to me

ahlost said...

hahahahaha... this is so true lar.. *LOL* I'll do this to my bf next time.. Cos in this case, bf will always be the one that takes so long to choose a pair of shoes and i'll be the one sitting there waiting for him. *LOL*

Michelle said...

the wasting time thing?? hahaha.. depends.. i will still bring him in though the nex time..just that when his turn to shop.. i smell revenge!!! lol~~

Jason TAN said...

is that samantha? boss, that day i was in wisma warisan

Zephyr said...

Wuahahaha, there is still a way to evade it, choose a place that u can have fun too. Like, Sunway pyramid, where I can just go ice skating while my friends go shopping. "Call me when going home that time k?"

And at the same time I can try to hit on some girls in skating ring too :p

Boss Stewie said...

ahlost: hahaha so now u know what to do! just make sure ur bf doesn't read my blog

michelle: hah! well if he reads my blo ur revenge won't work :P

jason: hahahahaa :P

zephyr: yah but... these are for cases when ur girl friend will want u to be the bell boy

vss3t said...

don't worry boss, i don't like Vincci either. Me a girl but hate that shop. i personally think that the designs for Vincci shoes are horrible.

hiddenmcky said...

hahahaha.
I really really like tis post lah.

I'll keep this entry in mind if someone actually tries to do this to me!

Counter attack: Whip out your handphone and start taking pictures with the guy. :D

see who can tahan longer!

hahahahah!
Ps: U dont know me and I dont know you. But just wanna say that I always like ur blog entries.

:)

Boss Stewie said...

vss3t: really? i thought the design for vincci shoes were pretty good

hidden: hahaha.. thank you for reading :P i'm glad someone loves reading my blog

Freethinker said...

Y u post this on friday... earlier la !!!!

Sue Me said...

wahaha..the truth has been revealed..guys cannot escape anymore d.lol..

sooclara said...

haha! you are so funny, poor that girl went shopping with you!! wait till you get a girlfriend and see whether you "sampai hati" to do the last bit of your post or not~~ keke :)

chingy said...

Haha!
Now I'll know if a guy do nonsense in shoe shops. XD

They are trying to make us not come back againnnnnnnnn! *Fades away*

Gila Babi said...

Thanks boss for the guide !! i LOVE IT !!!!!

Charlie said...

hey Tim, my post on nuffnang innit has been remnove for 4 times continously even though i try posting up again and again... please clarify before things get out of hand man. thanks alot

http://innit.nuffnang.com/view.php?id=5865

http://innit.nuffnang.com/view.php?id=5850

http://innit.nuffnang.com/view.php?id=5829.

this are some of the link to my posting. thanks again bro. hope to you clarify and fix things up. please dont let nuffnang be another advertlets

MaN|acZ said...

hello boss,

you sure the gal in the photo is nobody meh??...

I think it's *somebody* leh...

c'mon lah... spill the beans...

:P

David Cheong said...

I know a girl, who does not like Vincci! For reasons I can't divulge here if not horde of females would come running over to me with their shoes held high! Haha

Keith said...

then do u gals like NOSE better ?

Seizhin said...

I dont recall any Vinci shops in Thailand =/ all I remember is another similar type of shop were it'll be filled with girls 24/7

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Hi Bossy! Is that all u do while at the shoe shop...take pic only??? U don't look at legs....lots & lots of legs!!!! Some nice some remind u of elephant or piggy while some will made u go hard!!! u did do any of those looking???? If u didn't then u r a very 'good boy'!!!!
Have a nice day!

Boss Stewie said...

charlie: Hi Charlie. I've tried calling you a few times today but you never answered or returned my call. Could you call me at our Nuffnang office in KL at 03-2694 8828 any time during working hours tomorrow. Just ask for me.

freethinker: why what difference would it make?

sue: uh oh... maybe i shouldn't have done that

sooc: but but...

chingy: hahaha!!!


gila: thanks gila :P

maniacz: hahaha nobody lar

david: haha yes.. i wouldn't do that too if i were you.. u'll be massacred

keith: uhmmm i'll ask around and see :P

seiz: was it called vinchi or something?

hor ny: hahaha dude!!

Peanut Butter & Jelly said...

i've never been able to buy anything from Vincci can you tell me why? =(

miszmilk said...

Good post :D

Thing about Vincci is that most probably 35% of the Malaysian female population would own the same pair as you do. Which to me, is a turn off.

But hey, the price is right there. So people still love Vincci. (although I have seen some shoes that are not worth the price tag it came with)

:i: E N K I :!: said...

LOL..u're very good humour :) and a bit sacarstic

Danny Foo said...

Hmm...I don't think that'll work for me. It'll just create more anger and worst, you'll have a tantrum tooting girl waltzing down the walkway later. ROFL!