Friday, March 07, 2008

Timothy Tiah Sells His Rotan on

This is an advertorial. But I actually really like this entry okay.. SO READ IT ANYWAY… trust me it’s fun. I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t and you guys know how very selective I am with advertorials.

Okay so I’ve heard a lot about since they became our client at Nuffnang.

There it was, an online Marketplace where you can sell or buy things to other fellow Malaysians (Sort of like eBay but without the bidding process).

Not long before, I just heard from Nicholas that Pinkpau managed to sell a bulk of her old teddy bears on Mudah so hey… I decided to give it a shot myself.

Only thing was… I wasn’t sure what to sell.

What could I possibly sell that nobody else could get on any other day.

I mean if I were Brad Pitt I could probably sell my SPIT and I’m sure someone would’ve bought it for a few thousand bucks.

But.. I’m not Brad Pitt. I’m Timothy Tiah and nobody is gonna buy my spit let alone a properly signed autograph.

So I while looking through my junk I spotted something that brought back childhood memories of myself.

Yes… the Rotan.

Not just ANY Rotan.

The Rotan that my father used frequently to whoop my ass when I was a kid. That’s the funny thing about beating a kid right?

In the West, nobody beats their kids and if they do, the kid calls Child Services and gets the parents taken away.

In the East, like Malaysia… everyone beats their kids (fine.. not everyone, those of you who didn’t get beaten, you have no idea what you guys missed out on).

I was a beaten kid.

Seriously… my father used to whack me like there was no tomorrow (although I did deserve it most of the time). I know it’s hard to imagine this but I was actually a very rebellious kid that always talked back to my parents when I got a scolding or even a beating.

Heck I got so much beating that The Rotan even was cracked at the tip.

I used to be so terrified of the thing. So terrified that I used to hide The Rotan when I knew my Dad was gonna whoop my ass.

He used to keep The Rotan on top of the fridge thinking that I won’t be able to reach which worked fine and dandy for a while but the problem with kids is… we grow. So as I grew older (and taller), I learned to climb on to chairs to quickly grab The Rotan and hide it somewhere safe like under a rug or something.

I remember a day my Dad came home from work looking to beat the shit out of me for something I did wrong. He stared at me with fire in his eyes as he walked through the door but he didn’t want me to know that I was going to get a beating yet till he got his Rotan so he would first run off to the kitchen to grab it.

Sooner or later he realized that I hid it and he walked out of the kitchen and gave me the courtesy of asking me to return it to him.

And I stupidly replied

I don’t remember what happened after that though I did remember hearing a “POW!!!” just like in the old Batman movies.

So there you have it everyone… right now I am going to try to sell on the very same Rotan that my Father used to beat me into the man I have become today.

All for only RM200.

If I manage to somehow sell this Rotan on It can only mean 3 things.

1) is damn bloody good!
2) Someone out there is damn SM.

Click here to go find my Rotan. HAHAAHAH!!!

Will update you guys on the results later on.

To My Dear Father: Thank you for beating me when I was young.


XiangMei said...

My mom used to beat me with her hand cause she knows that every rotan that she bought ,will break into half by me....

No need to hide it wan lar...
just break break break into pieces and throw into a bin where your dad can't find!

KY said...

I wanna make a booking, reserve for me!

Esther Chin said...

Kai Yan needs to buy rotan. he say wanna rotan pinksterisme :p

David Cheong said...

Hmmm, I wonder if my used underwear would sell.. =p

William Leong said...

wan sell my baby milk bottle can ar? very precious one... got susu... ask Hor ny, he will know how precious it is..

Fei said...

boss. LENG AH!

i'm still laughing out really really loudly leh now.

Boss Stewie said...

xiang: eh no no.. i'd rather be beaten by rotan than my father's hand.. my dad was a karate black belt

ky: haha u go book urself!! the ad is waiting to be approved.. should be up soon

esther: why so kinky wan this kai yan! hahaha

david: haha try and see

william: joker lar u.. dun encourage him to do such things !!!

fei: hahahaha lol

Miss Nobody said... fren told me about her story of hiding the cane very near to her mom but she never sees it.
Its just behind her sofa where she sits. ( the sofa is the old kind made of cane)

Boss Stewie said...

miss: wah camou the cane.. pandainya ur friend

Ken said...

Hahahah, if someone actually buy it, we at would like to have an exclusive interbiu....

Empowering Youth

Boss Stewie said...

ken: hahaha!

Genova said...

sweet old memories eh...

twosuperheroes said...

boss, is the rotan valued at RM200 because it has touched your butt before? Just wondering...

Super Gentleman said...

cheh boss... rotan nia mahh... my dad last time whipped me with lalangs... if u dun noe hw it feels, jz imagine ur legs wif cuts rite after d slash den after awhile u c blood... n dis is 1 slash nia okie... LoL... n i still hate him for dat... hahahahahaz...

Freethinker said...

alamak... din know esther commented...

yeah, I needed one.. but for 200 bucks ?? U think the ass is gold meh ????!!!!!!!!!

§oŁЇtǺ®ÿ ®o§ě said...

LOLLLL......tiny fists?? hahaha...were you really that small when you said those words or were u a grown teenager??! xD

lucky u ur rotan....just cracked a little at the rotan became a brush...the tip was so severly smashed can be used for painting...such a fine brush....LOL...

200 for a rotan when outside is selling for a few bucks?? but of course one can argue, yours got whack timothy tiah's butt b4 or not?!

p.s- I can run faster than my parents (with my little feet.) xP

(e+ho)ng said...

Boss, you mentioned that if somehow someone actually bought your Rota, it could mean 3 things right? You only listed out 2 things so what is the 3rd point?

If I manage to somehow sell this Rotan on It can only mean 3 things.

1) is damn bloody good!
2) Someone out there is damn SM.

3POINT8 said...

how could you??
some innocent kid is gonna get a whack real soon...

Choo Hwei Ming said...

oh man.. now, two people are gonna be whack by the same rotan!

How could you man?

Anyway, this is one of the funniest post I've read!

Zephyr said...

rotan also can sell 0_0,

gonna try it with my boxes of comics and books

Simon Seow said...

Wah, the rotan still intact. So, it is not that quite often la. Still a good boy mah you Boss.

Btw, how's your eye Boss? Forgot to wear your helmet to sleep?

Suet Li said...

eh u say 3 things! where got liar wtf

Boss Stewie said...

Genova: hahaha yah… sweet memories

Two: noler dude it’s just a joke hhaha

Super: eh lalang pain wan meh? I must try

Freethinker: hahahaha lol lol

Soli: hahaha I also have another rotan that broke up to brush di.. but that wan dunno where di

E+h: hahaha yeah I forgot what the 3rd one was

3point8: but I can buy that kid more ice-cream with the Rm200 I get from his parents :P

choo: hahaha recycle mah.. dun let the rotan go to waste

zephyr: hahaha yah try and see

simon: eh often enough weiii.. my eye getting better di.. thank u

suet: haha I forgot the 3rd one la

Genova said...

boss...u make that 200 bucks sold to a charity. then i think its going to sell

Cheng Chun said...

Rotan ah. Have you tried the belt? That one would a scar for life. It definitely was a super spanking of a life time. :P

Aronil said...


"fight me like a man" I can imagine lil boss tim doing that hahahhahahahha. I'm inspired to do something. Reminds me of my dad chasing me and then when i to a corner in the house and couldn't run anymore... i turned around to him stuck out my finger and said "Notty notty notty!" haha