Sunday, July 13, 2008

One Night Stand Confessions in Canada

I have a few really great friends here in Vancouver, Canada so since I'm halfway around the world here I thought I might as well pay them all a visit.I paid a visit to this friend of mine whom I will here call Jeff.

Jeff is an old KL friend of mine whom I met in college. He picked me up from my hotel and took me around Vancouver. At the end of the day, we ended up on a rocky beach chatting while watching the sunset. It's summer here and during summer here the sun sets at about 9 to 9.30pm, very unlike back home in Malaysia where by 7.30pm it's pretty dark already

Anyway while we were sitting on the beach we started talking about One Night Stands that Jeff had been having in his many years in Vancouver. Here's roughly how our conversation went.

Me: How did you start doing all this? I thought you were a goodie goodie virgin boy back in KL?

Jeff: Yeah since I came here, everyone drinks a lot and beer makes you do silly things.

Me: So how does it work?

Jeff: I thought you know these things!

Me: No man!!! Unfortunately I don't.

Jeff: Well the clubs here are different from the clubs back home. Back home only a minority dance and everyone else just poses around their tables with their drinks acting cool. Here everybody dances and there is a lot of physical contact. So you go to a club, meet a girl there, dance dance grind a bit and then get her number.

Then the next time there is a frat party or something you invite her to it and after the party it happens.

Me: So how many girls have you shagged while since you're here?

Jeff:
Ermm let me think...
*Ponders and looks at the sea for a while* Jeff: Well there's Singapore, China....

Me
: Wait wait.. what's this?


Jeff
: Oh I try to remember them by the countries they're from.


Me
: WHAT?! Hahaha ok ok fine fine. Go on.


Jeff
: Okay there's Singapore, China, Brunei, Hong Kong, Canada...


Me
: *interrupts* WAHLAU!!! What the hell is this? The United Nations?


Jeff
: No lah... that's about it already. Just those countries. And there was actually almost a Columbia but haih... screwed up that one.


Me
: Why what happened?
Jeff: Well there were two sisters there, one of them was quite pretty and the other wasn't. I was hitting on the less prettier one because I thought she would be easier but turns out the prettier one was the one interested in me. Haih!

Me
: So are any of these other girls hot?


Jeff
: No! Arrgghh!! Like I said, I banged them all because I was high on booze and you get "beer goggles" when that happens.


Me: Not even the Canadian one?

Jeff
: No man. She was really really fat.


Me
: WHAT?!?! THEN HOW DID YOU....


Jeff: *interrupts* I said BEER GOGGLES LAR DIU!!!


26 comments:

Boss Stewie said...

Hahah I just did an experiment.

Post an entry at 5.44AM on a Sunday morning and see if anyone is awake to leave a comment.

It's been an hour already.. and still no comments.. HAHAHAHAHA..

WAKE UP LAH WEI!!!

ayandy said...

haha, my comment also won't fit into ur experiment... it's 12.32am in london...

Monica said...

i'm here :D

RealGunners said...

when u're on booze, any girl wearing less cloth will seem hotter :D

Zephyr said...

Great nowadays beer comes with beer goggles.

What a promotion XD!!!

Better than buy 1 free 1

Errr....actually I felt pity for your friend. Rest in peace....Amithaba

Josephine said...

Haha! Good one!

ks said...

Still waiting for pics of Canadian chicks ler... haha

Genova said...

beer goggles.hahaha
that's an exquisite term.

Boss Stewie said...

Ayandy: HAH!.. okok fine fine it don't count

monica: hahaha yay! good morning

realgunners: yeah that's what beer goggles kinda means

zephyr: lol.. why pity my friend leh... he's happy!

josephine: hah

ks: wait lar.. not so easy to take

genova: hahaha yah it is

CBB said...

hahahahaahha!! the columbian one was hot right? kesian him didnt get tht one either

Boss Stewie said...

cbb: yah... haha poor dude

§pinzer said...

u never mentioned u didn't know what ONS stood for until some time ago :P

Mz said...

hey hey, my thought is that ur fren is either a sweet talker, or he is hot! :P

plz tell me he's either one..

§oŁЇtǺ®ÿ ®o§ě said...

Maybe its because its dark, its smoky in the clubs there for it 'clouds' your judgement or something! Maybe that Fat chick is really good in bed and offers more unique stuff compared to the other chicks! Lets give her the benefit of the doubt! xD but still funny nonetheless...

cynzlim said...

your first pic u wanna be karen cheng isit hehe pose like karen cheng. =p

Boss Stewie said...

spinzer: hahaa yeah i don't know the short form of it lar

mz: hahahah he is really funny if that helps.. and he's not bad looking, quite well built


solitary: hahaha yes yes.. i guess it's just a matter of preference

cyn: who's karen cheng?

Autumn Babe said...

dun tell me my email to u just went into the spam again =_="

Boss Stewie said...

autumn: haha yes i think it did again

Zephyr said...

Me: So are any of these other girls hot?

Jeff: No! Arrgghh!! Like I said, I banged them all because I was high on booze and you get "beer goggles" when that happens.

Me: Not even the Canadian one?

Jeff: No man. She was really really fat.

Me: WHAT?!?! THEN HOW DID YOU....

Jeff: *interrupts* I said BEER GOGGLES LAR DIU!!!

Kesian....kena hempap oleh punggung beberapa tan XD....now u get wat i mean

vingie said...

beauty unfortunately,lies in the eys of the BEERHOLDER!! hahahah! :P

Autumn Babe said...

hmmM~ set laaa so dat my mails go to ur inbox n not spam anymore. hmphhhH~ :(

Jeffro said...

LOL! wake up look for comments? lmao!

Cheng Chun said...

Don't you love Vancouver. I wanted to go this weekend but take jadi. Oh well. I hope you enjoy your time. Boss, you must eat the seafood there. It's just too good not to eat them and they are CHEAP!!!

ahlost said...

5sth in the morning? Erm.. You haven't sleep or.. ?? *LOL*

I thought you really ONS *LOL*

nikz said...

omg... how can ur fren bang a fat chic??? beer goggles huh??

i've been doing binge drinking sometime back, but this thing called 'beer goggles' never come to me. amazingly, i can still push those drunkards who's trying to be funny with me away.

Simon Seow said...

You caught me in the morning shift. Wait la for me in night shift.