Friday, October 17, 2008

SHIT STORM!!!!

The most annoying thing just happened to me this morning. It started off like a usual weekday morning. Wake up early for a pre-work jog at KLCC Park, jogged for an hour then get back into the car park to head home, shower then head to office to start my work day.

Today was a little different though.

Just as I was driving out of the KLCC Car Park....
"SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT....."

I looked on my windscreen and realized that a storm of bird (or bat) shit had hit my car and when I say storm I MEAN STORM.

A storm means what must've been like 30 drops of shit... that's right not one... not two... not three... THIRTY FUKING DROPS OF SHITT!!!

Now when some shit hits your windscreen the first thing you do is turn on the wiper to wipe it off right?

WRONG!!!

DOING THAT JUST SMEARED ALL THE SHIT ALL OVER THE WINDSCREEN. So after 5 minutes of wiping, this is how my windscreen looked from inside the car.

Look closely at the picture and you'll see smeared shit on the glass!

Then I looked around my car and realized that it wasn't only my windscreen that was hit but the entire car!

LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT!!!

THERE'S MORE

AND MORE!!!
AND MORE!!!!

AND MORE!!!!

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

As I was driving back home I passed the Jalan Sultan Ismail traffic lights and even the cop that was there directing traffic had his eyes glued to my car as I drove past.

He was probably wondering to himself..
"WHAT THE HELL BIRD DID THIS POOR SONOFABITCH PISS OFF?!?"


ARGHH!!! DAMN BIRDS!!!

Now I know some people say it's good luck to be shit on by a bird.... but this must've been 30 OR MORE BIRDS (or one bird having a bad case of diarrhea). Seriously I am starting to think those 30 birds planned it all out this morning.

They probably realized I leave that car park at that time every day and they decided
"Okay guys... when he drives out of the car park... we swarm him and shit all over his car! It'll be so funny... he'll never know what hit him and our shit is gonna smell real nice after all that fish curry we had last night."

I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!! How often do you see bird shit on the floor?? THEY ALWAYS AIM FOR THE CARS AND THEY ALWAYS HIT!!!

What are the odds... I was STILL in the KLCC Car Park and my car was moving... how the hell???

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SHAT ON BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!!

TODAY HAD BETTER TURN OUT TO BE A REALLY LUCKY DAY FOR ME!!!

It's past noon now and I'm still not feeling any of that happiness =(

33 comments:

Jadetofu said...

whoever knew that birds have shit targeting system? they must have gone 'auto lock' on you. lmao :D

CLF said...

LOL!!!
So lucky, go buy 4D on today's date or ur car plate. XD

Simon said...

wow you must have REALLY angered the birds!!!

simontalks.com

Hikari Reika said...

oohh.. next time you go jogging i suggest u wear one of those umbrellas that you wear on your head =p just in case the birds come back for round two

YSMM said...

So lucky..=D

Anselm Ong said...

Happy Shitty Day.... It is just one of those shitty days...

Kay said...

there's a particular area at the school carpark that the crows shit at =D i could get you a picture.

KY said...

Hahaha you're so full of shit!

electronicfly said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Macam non-lethal version of the movie The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock.

Buy 4D number! Don't buy Toto only tau, buy all brands!

Boss Stewie said...

jadetofu: yalah!! they pakat to cover me in bird shit

clf: hah! i thought of that actually

simon: i don;t know what I did...

hikari: fortunately i was in the car when they covered me in shit ... otherwise i would seriously be pissed off

ysmm: really? i think people say that just to make themselves feel better after being shat on

anselm: yeah it iss =(

kay: hahah ok please show!

ky: sigh yes.. pun intended eh

electronic: hahaha... aihh

Chu King Cheang said...

ahhahahahhaa, dudeeeee, that's soooo unusual.. so much shit happened on you at one go.. it's a good sign though. all the shit are gone.. haha.. no more shit to come. good luck coming.

Kay said...

weel, gotta wait till monday when i can take pic and upload.. will post link on your latest post of monday! =D *pinky swear!*

Boss Stewie said...

chu king: aihh... murphy's law.. when the shit comes .. it comes all at one go

kay: hhaha ok

Spectre said...

BULL EYE"S. 100 % on the spot XD
but unfortunately they hit your car.

JaMie said...

i think it's like ur car is actually moving along with the bird and the bird was shitting while flying.. so yea.. all over ur car. LOLLLLL. oops. =X

limcyam said...

..consider yourself lucky. Imagine... just one.... and one only shit directly on to your head!!

Now, do you felt luckier already??


hehehe

dcyk said...

eh boss

u sure it's not someone throwing up out the window ar.....where got so ngam so many shit one did u drive under a tree

Jannah said...

This post made my day.

Shitfest aside. Rather them birds than someone puking out tall high rise windows just for kicks.

Go go to police give a specimen of the dreaded poo, then check the DNA, if its Gagak can pay people to take care of them (said with Al Pacino's intonation like in the Godfather.)

Maybe the car color blue like that, so serene like a lake, incite the need to go do the number two.

CBB said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! what did you put on your car boss. they must have thought it was a easy toiletplate or something. not something you see everyday :D

Mr GiN said...

That is really some funny shit u got there!lol..what a day..

Brenda said...

30 drops of shit? For real? Omg. Now you know, it's not wise to turn on the wiper when you have droppings on your windscreen! 30 drops! I wouldn't believe you if you didn't post up those pictures. Feeling any better now? Hope tomorrow turn out to be a better day for ya :D And no more droppings :P

Glenda said...

You are bad at telling lies. Those shit looks overnight. Not something you see at the back after wiping the front part.

Also you jog for 1 hour? You gotta be kidding us. At least Mr Kenny Sia tells better lies about his training. We all know that porky can't do for 1 hour what he claimed but at least he tells good story. You? We appreciate you telling us stories but it's blatantly fake we can tell.

Boss Stewie said...

spectre: aihh.. yes my poor car!

jamie: whichever way it happened... what are the odds

limcyam: still don't feel anymore luckier =(

dyck: no man.. it definitely had some kind of shit smell and i wasn't going under a tree, i was exiting the car park, not even out of it yet.. i was still indoors. I didn't even see any of the birds but it most certainly is bird shit

jannah: ok so i should change the colour of my car.

cbb: yeah there must've been some bulls eye on it

mrgin: haih.. shit happens!

brenda: hahaha i don't know if it's really 30 lah but it looks like that by the number of drops

glenda: hahaha i actually had a brief thought of deleting your meaningless comment. but then i realize that they're rather amusing so i'll keep them here and just delete or ignore the future ones.

fourfeetnine said...

why would anyone want to lie about whether it was today or yesterday that birds shat on his car?

i'm sorry glenda if you it's too difficult for you to jog for an hour. frankly, i can't do it either but at least i'm not sour about it.

Nicocoa said...

hahahaha.. faster go buy 4D and TOTO. like. right now!

angeliCassie said...

hahahaha you know what's funny or not..how come the birds all can shit at the same time one?

gambateh in jogging hehe i went swimming again today!

-JoJo- said...

Ok, you're lucky shit. Go buy ToTo, RM30. :)

T-MO-T "n" TING said...

humans lausai so does a bird...
and bird kenot control their shit tho..

debra fong said...

HAHAHAHAHA.

This would earn car cleaners a fortune.
Lol: )

Probably he birds thought that they needed to instil more shit into you 8)

Jackson said...

that is just so...... suay

RealGunners said...

i think u should forget the 4Ds.. just aim for the bigger loots, like.. those toto jackpot or something, those that pays millions XD

Mei Yan said...

That must be one great experience. Probably you should have bought toto. And oh, I'm just a random reader here.. :))

eMz said...

i've seen a lotta shit on cars before, but this one is the BOMB. hahaha