Wedding HOooooooooo!!!

For those of you who don't already know, I'm actually back in Penang.

Now I've decided to take a little break from the Taiwan blog entries and write about a wedding dinner I attended last weekend.

Weddings are fun because of two things

1) Because you get to see the bride in joy for having finally found her soulmate.

2) Because you get to see the fear in the man's eyes knowing that he will be sleeping with one and only ONE woman for the rest of his life.

But I also like the idea of getting married because it represents a stage in life where I can get as fat as I want and my wife would have noooo choice but to stay with me. (BWAHAHAHA)

She can't exactly divorce me and state the reason for divorce as
"Husband too fat..."

Can she?

Anyway, back to the wedding.

Meet my date for the night (and also the sister of the bride) Cynthia.
I have to shamefully admit that I barely knew anyone at the wedding.

The only people I knew there were Cynthia and Ivy (another friend who sat with me).

So as you can imagine, the 3 of us took plenty of pictures together.

You have to love Chinese weddings.

First, there are the 30 odd huge round tables where guests are made to sit next to each other and expected to talk to each other.

Then there is the professional singer on stage singing loud chinese music like
"我爱你爱着你。。。 就像老鼠爱大米"

And then there are the occasional English speeches by the good friend of the bride and groom.

"I first met Ah Seng bak in skool.... Last time he always play my backside wan... I never tot he can suddenly get married liddat wan... but FUUUWAH... tonight he is a damn larky man because he marry leng lui.

And leng lui very nice to marry wan... Confucius say Ah Seng is lucky man...*pause*

HAHAHAHA... that was meant to be a joke...

You see because Confucius cannot possibly say that Ah Seng is a lucky man rite?

Because Confucius si liao HAHAHAHAA

That wan is joke I make myself wan.. AHAHAHAHAHAH.. I crack myself up sometimes... I am so fahney!! AHAHAH I should give up my day job soon".

But alas, the speech that night was nothing like that.

It was all professional, proper and sweet...

And of course... it wouldn't be a Chinese Wedding Dinner without... THIS

With a pretty girl inside

Or occasionally... a pretty girl and a fat man inside.

And of course there is the best part of Chinese Wedding Dinners...

Where the bride and groom goes from table to table to drink with the guests and shouting
"YAAAAAAAAMMMMMM SEEEEEEEEEEENNGGG".

But even that's no fun these days because all groom yam seng's with is orange juice or chinese tea.

Imagine how fun it would've been in the old days when the groom had to literally down a glass of alcohol with each table.
So if there were 30 tables... we'll have 30 glasses of alcohol and a groom so drunk he could mistake his bride that night for a prostitute (and find himself doing nothing but buying "I'm Sorry" flowers for his new wife the next day).

Anyway, after more than an hour of small talk with the other guests, Cynthia dragged me out of the ballroom to snap some pictures.

First with her

And then with her again

And then another picture of us acting like Malaysians and not making much effort at all with our posing.


And of course, there were pictures with Ivy.


We were having so much fun taking pictures that before we even knew it, the wedding was coming to an end.

People started leaving except for me.

I walked back into the ballroom and straight to the main table where the bride and groom was seated throughout the whole dinner.

It was EMPTY!!!So I thought... since I wouldn't be getting married anytime soon, why not take a minute and sit on the table as the groom to see if I could get a feeling of how it feels like to be the groom that night.


I didn't feel anything... the stupid chair didn't work...

So I decided to take a picture with the fake wedding cake instead.


FAKE WEDDING CAKE HOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!

PS: For those of you who might ask... Boss Stewie isn't getting married anytime yet... he's not done fooling around... HEHEHE