Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Wedding HOooooooooo!!!

For those of you who don't already know, I'm actually back in Penang.

Now I've decided to take a little break from the Taiwan blog entries and write about a wedding dinner I attended last weekend.


Weddings are fun because of two things

1) Because you get to see the bride in joy for having finally found her soulmate.

2) Because you get to see the fear in the man's eyes knowing that he will be sleeping with one and only ONE woman for the rest of his life.

But I also like the idea of getting married because it represents a stage in life where I can get as fat as I want and my wife would have noooo choice but to stay with me. (BWAHAHAHA)

She can't exactly divorce me and state the reason for divorce as
"Husband too fat..."

Can she?

Anyway, back to the wedding.

Meet my date for the night (and also the sister of the bride) Cynthia.
I have to shamefully admit that I barely knew anyone at the wedding.

The only people I knew there were Cynthia and Ivy (another friend who sat with me).

So as you can imagine, the 3 of us took plenty of pictures together.

You have to love Chinese weddings.

First, there are the 30 odd huge round tables where guests are made to sit next to each other and expected to talk to each other.

Then there is the professional singer on stage singing loud chinese music like
"我爱你爱着你。。。 就像老鼠爱大米"


And then there are the occasional English speeches by the good friend of the bride and groom.


"I first met Ah Seng bak in skool.... Last time he always play my backside wan... I never tot he can suddenly get married liddat wan... but FUUUWAH... tonight he is a damn larky man because he marry leng lui.

And leng lui very nice to marry wan... Confucius say Ah Seng is lucky man...*pause*

HAHAHAHA... that was meant to be a joke...

You see because Confucius cannot possibly say that Ah Seng is a lucky man rite?

Because Confucius si liao HAHAHAHAA

That wan is joke I make myself wan.. AHAHAHAHAHAH.. I crack myself up sometimes... I am so fahney!! AHAHAH I should give up my day job soon".



But alas, the speech that night was nothing like that.

It was all professional, proper and sweet...

And of course... it wouldn't be a Chinese Wedding Dinner without... THIS


With a pretty girl inside

Or occasionally... a pretty girl and a fat man inside.

And of course there is the best part of Chinese Wedding Dinners...

Where the bride and groom goes from table to table to drink with the guests and shouting
"YAAAAAAAAMMMMMM SEEEEEEEEEEENNGGG".

But even that's no fun these days because all groom yam seng's with is orange juice or chinese tea.

Imagine how fun it would've been in the old days when the groom had to literally down a glass of alcohol with each table.
So if there were 30 tables... we'll have 30 glasses of alcohol and a groom so drunk he could mistake his bride that night for a prostitute (and find himself doing nothing but buying "I'm Sorry" flowers for his new wife the next day).

Anyway, after more than an hour of small talk with the other guests, Cynthia dragged me out of the ballroom to snap some pictures.

First with her

And then with her again

And then another picture of us acting like Malaysians and not making much effort at all with our posing.


And of course, there were pictures with Ivy.


We were having so much fun taking pictures that before we even knew it, the wedding was coming to an end.

People started leaving except for me.

I walked back into the ballroom and straight to the main table where the bride and groom was seated throughout the whole dinner.

It was EMPTY!!!So I thought... since I wouldn't be getting married anytime soon, why not take a minute and sit on the table as the groom to see if I could get a feeling of how it feels like to be the groom that night.


I didn't feel anything... the stupid chair didn't work...

So I decided to take a picture with the fake wedding cake instead.


FAKE WEDDING CAKE HOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!

PS: For those of you who might ask... Boss Stewie isn't getting married anytime yet... he's not done fooling around... HEHEHE




32 comments:

tasha said...

1st!!

HOOOOoooooooooooooo!!!!

Boss Stewie said...

hAHAHAHAHAH WART A JOKE!!!

Leon said...

Damnit...10 min late.

Leon said...

evergreen hotel right?

Boss Stewie said...

lol leon

yes.. evergreen hotel

Wingz said...

wuah!!! Ahseng you very larky!! got lenglui pose with lu! con-fucius say wan!

MaN|acZ said...

hmm.. why is Boss not marrying the bride's sister ar?
hmmm...

William Leong said...

chiiiqqqqqqqqqssssssssssssssssssssssssss........ *drools*

William Leong said...

you lucky bastard!

Boss Stewie said...

wingz: no lar.. where just pose only mah

maniacz: hahaha well cynthia did bring me to meet all her relatives...

william: hahaha no lar.. they're just my friends

Victoria Fong said...

lol. the same applies for women. women can afford to grow fat after marriage toooo :)

Lance said...

Confucius say, man who take photos with another leng lui all nite long, is a happy man all nite long... =)

Shireen K said...

the next best thing, you must have missed that out... the wife can be as fat as she wants too!! nyahahahahahaha..

Somewhat, dont tell me that you gonna get married cos u wanna be fat? *roll eyeballs.

MaN|acZ said...

boss stewie:
hahaha well cynthia did bring me to meet all her relatives... <--- the first step to end singlehood..

she's still single rite? if she's single, you're single, then GAME On!

lol.

- PC - said...

wow.. i tot was ur wedding at 1st.. haha .. can c u realli enjoy the nite wid the leng lui. hehe..

"wen is ur turn?" will b soon ur relatives ask.. haha. prepare 4 it..

Boss Stewie said...

victoria: noooooo!!!! that's not supposed to happen... we live in a biased world don't we?

lance: lol lance! unfortunately.. they were just my friends

shireen: why not??? that's a good reason to get married.. then i can skip gym time and feel good about it

maniacz: hahaa yes she is single..

pc: i was asked that question many times during my bro's wedding years ago.. it's like the standard question to ask whenever u're at a wedding

Chapree Da Grande said...

Whoa...Game on, Boss Stewie! >:)

Meanwhile, you also cannot applied for divorce if you wife becomes fat fuk. So, it's better if both didn't become fat fuk. Am i riteee...? >:)

William Leong said...

never said they weren't ur friends also. horrr... trying to hide something

Anonymous said...

Food?
[b][url="http://hydrocodone.dewall.info "]hydrocodone and acetaminophen[/url][/b]

Lance said...

And here comes our first spambot contestant after months of truce. =P

Cheryl said...

Boss, wtf is that red thing that both of you are posing in?

Daphne said...

the main point of this post was to post up pics of cynthia right! admit it lar! hahahahaha.

ok but u did a pretty good summation of how guys n girls view marriage at the beginning of ur post. i thought it was reali funny hehehe. n why are u nvr online on ur meebo-thingie?

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

ooh remember to invite me to ur wedding HORRRRRRR or else i'll make sure little miss cynthia/ivy/wateverfrenumarry becomes fatter than u a 100x... let u two live in obese bliss! woohoo

Boss Stewie said...

chapree: but but... but i'll just find another reason to divorce my wife then :P


william:hahaha no lar i'm not trying hide anything.. just trying to squish your hints :P

lance: LOL!!!

cheryl: i dunno what that's called

daphne: cuz i've been a little busy lately.. will be online more often soon ok?

suicidal: NOooooooooooooo!!!!!

- PC - said...

boss, not oni happen in wedding ceremony la. i heard over a conversation between 2 mid 20s men at gurney.

A: eh.. lu chua ah boi? (u married d?)
B: ah boi la.. lu leh? (haven. wat bout u?)

i was like.. huh? now i no wat men tok about wen dey r at tat age. haha..

Boss Stewie said...

AHH MY INTERNET SO SLOW AR... damn the earthquake!!!

pc: i went for another wedding dinner tonight.. and was asked when my turn would be

Shireen K said...

u could do the old trick and wait till the next funeral comes up and say the same the same to them...:X

but NO.. hell no.. u dont need to get married to get fat.. u can do it .. starting... now..go on.. get fat..

MaN|acZ said...

But even that's no fun these days because all groom yam seng's with is orange juice or chinese tea. <--- where got?!

some of the weddings I attended still yam seng with real deal --> alcohol!

Anonymous said...

bwahahaha!
eh boss..everything is possible now.don b the 1st who got divorced because " my hubby too fat "

noneed prove malaysia buleh lidat ok.

Boss Stewie said...

shireen: i am getting fat :P

maniacz: yalar... more and more rare

anonymous: hah! if kena liddat means malaysia really boleh

earl-ku said...

***hot chicks

***fap fap fap fap fap fap

liyiesther.C said...

"he's not done fooling around..."
SURE or not? I remember you said that you should get married soon.

And YOU'R not fat!

And yes, I'm suppose to be working now...BUT took some time off to do my assignment that you gave me yesterday. - which is to read Boss's blog.