Monday, August 27, 2007

What Will Happen If We Have More Guys Than Girls?

I just happened to read an article in the BBC News lately, talking about how China is coming up with new laws to tackle the growing gender imbalance in their country.

We all know the source of these imbalances right?

One child policy... Chinese favour sons, so they go for abortions as soon as they find out that the baby is a girl.

Well apparently now the gender imbalance has gone so bad that in some cities there are 8 men to every 5 women.
A quote from the article

"Experts fear the phenomenon could have unpredictable social consequences.

Some believe that with millions of men unable to find a wife, there could be risks of increasing anti-social and violent behaviour."

What do you guys think about that?

Do you guys think the Chinese government is being overly paranoid?

OF COURSE NOT!!!
THIS IS A GRAVE PROBLEM!!!

Even in KL where it is supposedly rumoured to have 3 girls for every 1 guy, young men like ME... are unable to find girlfriends....

I can only imagine what would happen if it was 8 guys to every 5 girls. In an Economics point of view, here's what's going to happen if we have a whole lot more guys than girls in any country.

CONSEQUENCES

1) Men are going to be fighting with one another for a woman.

THERE ARE GONNA BE BLOODY RIOTS!!!

Sales of guns like this will hit the roof!!! And at the end of the riots, just like in the animal kingdom, the STRONG will get their women... the weak... will turn into fags.

2) Men are actually going to have to start being far less chauvinistic.

That's right...like it or not, most men at least a little chauvinism in their blood.

It's true.. admit it... even I do.

Don't tell me you're not!!!

I bet there was at least ONCE in your life when you were driving on the road and shouted
"HOI!!! STOOOPID WOMAN DRIVER!!! YOUR LAU PEK'S ROAD AR?!!?"
And I bet you have NEVER once said
"HOI!!! STOOOPID MAN DRIVER!!! YOUR LAU PEK'S ROAD AR?!?!"

But when you find out that there are 10 guys to every 1 girl in your town... believe me... even the most chauvinistic Chinaman will say

"Ai chehh... that nice lady there so cute lar the way she drive... don't put signal when turning, hog both lanes... hao ke ai ah!!!"

3) Women are going to care much less about their physical looks.

That's right!!!

So if I were a woman I would throw away my make-up, and eat all the Krispy Kreme I want to make myself the fattest tub of lard in the world.. and still I won't have a problem getting a man. Because if you don't want me for being fat or ugly... a million other men would.

Hahahaha okok.. how many of you nearly went blind for looking at that previous pic.

Okay because I am nice... nah I give you guys a nice pic for you to cuci your mata.
Cuci already or not?

Ok lets move on.


4) Now the women are going to get uglier but the men are going to get better looking because of the increased competition.

There will no longer be any fat men, gym memberships will take off and Men's Health Magazine will sell better than PCWorld. Women won't be doing plastic surgery anymore... men will.

And every man you know will look like this! Now economists like myself don't just analyze the consequences. They suggest solutions!

What are the solutions?

SOLUTIONS

What can we do to circumvent this disaster from happening?

1) Encourage more men to be gay.

For each man that turns gay, you not only save one woman, you save TWO women, because that gay man will look for another gay man to be with.

2) Subsidize transexual operations.

Thailand will be like the Roman Empire, and Bangkok will be Rome. You think transexuals are unattractive now?? Well BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS!!! And heck... transexuals are looking better each day.

3) Intentionally start a war to send more men to the battlefield to die.

That should be very easy to do.

Maybe Bush could go up to France and say

Bush:
HOI!!! YOUR FRENCH TOURISTS KEEP BREATHING MY AMERICAN AIR WITHOUT PAYING ME FOR IT!


France:
Pay you for it? What??


Bush:
YES!!! THE AIR OVER AMERICA BELONGS TO US... AND YOU ARE ALL STEALING IT!!!


France:
But your American tourists and breathing my air in France too!


Bush:
I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE!!! YOU ARE BREATHING OUR AIR AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!!! I HEREBY DECLARE WAR ON YOU!!!


France:
Eh eh eh wait wait wait!!! Ok okok I pay you for it... how much you want for it?


Bush:
I want $100,000,000,000 for it!

France: Okay okay... we'll have to dig into our reserves and borrow some money from England but nothing can be more important than avoiding this war. So consider it done.


Bush:
What? Done??? uhh uhh... no wait!!! I CHANGE MY MIND!!! I WANT A HUNDRED GAZILLION US DOLLARS... IF NOT I WAR!!!


France:
What?? Is that even a real number?!?!


Bush:
I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE!!! YOU BETTER BANK IT INTO MY ACCOUNT BY TOMORROW OR MY B-52 BOMBERS WILL NUKE PARIS!!!


France:
Okay okay.. I will transfer a hundred gazillion US dollars to you. Which Bank and bank account number should I transfer it to?


Bush:
Huh? Really? uhh.. uhh...

I DOWAN TELL YOU WHICH BANK AND WHICH ACCOUNT NUMBER... YOU FIND OUT YOURSELF... TOMORROW I WILL RANDOMLY CHECK ONE OF OUT OF MY BILLION AMERICAN BANK ACCOUNTS AND IF I DO NOT FIND A HUNDRED GAZILLION DOLLARS IN THERE I WILL DECLARE WAR!!!


France: Okay okay... so that there isn't a risk of any war between us, I'll be careful and just bank in the money to ALL your accounts.

Bush: ... ... *3 seconds pass* I WANT THE MONEY NOW... IN 10 SECONDS OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR!!!

France:
WHAT?!?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Bush: TEN... NINE... EIGHT...

France:
YOU MAD MAN!!!

Bush:
SEVEN.... THREE... TWO... ONE... MY AIRCRAFT CARRIERS ARE ON THEIR WAY... PREPARE FOR WAR NAPOLEON!!!


See??

Easy to start a war, even if your opponent doesn't want to pick a fight!

Once the war starts... SEND IN ALL THE MEN!!!

Or heck if the gender imbalance was more towards the younger generation then maybe we would have to send our little kids to war in their little cardboard tanks like this. Now that we're done with analyzing the problem.

Consider this.. what if.. the situation were reversed, where your country had way more girls than guys.

Well..

LIFE WILL BE SO DAMN GOOD.

You guys know of any other creative ways to solve the problem?

Share with me!

And don't say cloning more women... because cloning is ILLEGAL!!!

Unless of course we're cloning women that look like this.


Because then it would be not only crime but a shame to NOT clone a billion of her right?


Disclaimer to President Bush if he ever reads this blog entry:

Dear President Bush... whatever I said to you in this blog entry is just for illustration purposes only and does not in any way mean to reflect how I think of you. Please don't nuke Penang.. PLEASE? PLEASE?

We have no oil here!


22 comments:

Mun said...

Hi Tim,

This post is good. You have tonnes of creative ideas to send the message across. And I bet you spent hours to get those good pictures.

Keep it up and I shall come back more often.

JacJac said...

sei lor...

boss...

Go find me a new home...


I don want to be nuked....


Penang cham liau

William Leong said...

boss ju very free hor? so long din write so long liao... trapped in sydney until tension liao? so penang kena bomb? hahah, but nice work la boss!

the last part "we have no oil here" = namewee's "dun sue me, i got no money"

Nicocoa said...

so that's what you have been doing in the middle of the night that you HAVE NO WORK!!

Nonnie King said...

I enjoy reading this post very, VERY much!

Makes me giggles a lot.

Boss Stewie said...

mun: hahaha no lar.. not exactly HOURS ler.. never really counted the time

jac: hahah u're on the mainland so u're fine.. no worries

william: hahaha eh.. i enjoy blogging.. blogging is releasing tension for me

nicole: hahahaha ehh i was working! just taking a break

nonnie: glad you like it

Patchay said...

Hey Tim how ya? Still remember me? haha. The fat girl omg I almost vomit haha. And the pretty girl (cloning) is sooo lovely. Touches my heart instantly. Good post keep it up!!

Congrats to you and Nuffnang for appearing in TheStar Biz today. Focus section you know! [http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/8/27/business/18693247&sec=business]

(btw are you related to TA Enterprise Bhd?)

JacJac said...

but....

I live by the sea nia.. direct facing the sea sumore....


affected la

XD

Boss Stewie said...

patchay: hi dude.. thanks.. that interview was done quite some time back ... and to your second question... how many Tiahs do you know?

jacjac: hahaha no lar.. dun worry.. u'll be fine!

Jason TAN said...

boss, how do u do this

We have no oil here! with the strike across?

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Hallo Bossy! Simple solution to pokeing problem, u can always poke ur own kind! If that is not ur taste u can alway go oversea when there are more hole then stick! So have u done any pokeing in sydney?Have a nice day!

Boss Stewie said...

jason: just use the... i can't seem to type the tag here cuz blogger wun let me

horny: hahaha have a nice day hor ny

William Leong said...

[quote]“I have never encouraged them to call me boss and we have regular criticism sessions... [/quote]

hahhaha, nearly EVERYONE calls you boss...

William Leong said...

wait till StarBiz sees ur blogging pseudonym...

eve said...

wahaha... nice post! btw, i enjoy reading ur blog too~
was laughing like mad here... =D

Innocent^^Guy said...

thanx for the cuci mata pic..it really makes a lot of difference to my mood when reading..haha :D

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

read thestar article..good job!..

lasilasi said...

lol but in fact my china friends are all wanting baby gal than boy =p - gals worth more than boys in modern china according to them since the husband usually listen to the wife so much that they are closer to the wife's family...

Yii Toong said...

Hey Tim, congrats on your Starbiz interview. Have they stumbled on your REAL blog? Muahahah

Jason TAN said...

boss, aiyak

sebol said...

Which one come first?
The 'story' or the footage?

Boss Lepton said...

Or you move to utah, where girls can marry multiple men.

interesting fact eh?