Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Boss Stewie the Handy Man

Last Sunday, I was casually driving on some nice and empty KL roads.

I love those kind of weekend drives. Nice, relaxing... soothing.. gives you the best opportunity to listen to some of your nice classical music... unlike the kind of traffic we face on weekdays like this.
When suddenly... an idiot spoilt my drive by tail-gating me to the max.

I slowed down and kept to the left lane to allow him to overtake when he came up to my right side and started honking me, staring at me and pointing at me.

I shouted to myself
"WHAT?!?!? WHAT DA FARK?!?! JUST GO LAR DAMMIT!!!"

Ahh road rage at its very best.

The driver then sped off.

A few minutes later, another car came to do the exact same thing to me and I showed him the finger, which was enough to shoo him away.

After a while I started thinking to myself...

"Hmmm... maybe they were trying to tell me something... like maybe my petrol tank was open.

So I stopped the car by the road side, got down and took a look.

My petrol tank was closed but my tire was punctured.

Miraculously I could still drive my car without much of a problem so I decided to head home to change it.

Now EVERY REAL MAN knows how to change his car tire ok?

EVERY REAL MAN!

If you're a girl and don't know how to change your car tire, no big deal... but if you're a guy.. what can you possibly do?

If you're stranded by the road side, are you going to flag down a cute chick in her pink VW beetle and say
"Excuse me miss.. uhmm.. I donno how to change my car tire wor.. can you help me?"

and what do you think the cute chick will say to you?

You think she'll say
"Sure... it's quite normal that men don't know how to change their own tires.. I'll help you out."

or do you think she'll say
"HAHAHAHAHAHAA YOU LEETLE LEETLE FRENCH POODLE!!!"

So if you really don't know how to do it.

Listen hard.

First, find the tools to jack the car up and remove the bolts.

You will find it in the back of your boot.
The first thing you have to start with is the car jack to jack your car up (you may or may not choose to losen the nuts first before you do that but up to you).

In front of the rear tire, there is always a hard spot where you can place the jack on. Make sure you put it on that hard spot, and not anywhere else, or you will effectively punch a whole in your car.

Once the car is jacked up.

You can start removing the nuts and when you remove it, you will see this.

Then chuck your punctured tire aside first.

And replace it with the spare tire in the trunk.


And voila.

Your job is done!

See? So easy...

Except that I realized... that in the midst of replacing the tire... I DIRTIED MY NUFFNANG SHIRT...

I just HAD to be wearing a white shirt on that day huh... just HAD to....

Not only that, I even got some dirt even on my face.

Don't ask how my forehead managed to come in contact with the tire. Even I don't know.

30 comments:

JacJac said...

at least the new specs look good on you :D


sigh boss.. we have our car woes
T-T

Fei said...

I think the dirt on your forehead was from your hand la...

Nicocoa said...

i still think beetle is an ugly car, hah!

Boss Stewie said...

jac: hahaha yah.. but your wan more serious than mine

fei: yah must be right? how else could it get therE?

nico: no i think it's a cute car!

Michael Song said...

boss... i want that nuffnang shirt... i'll pay for it... XL

aL said...

boss.. u nampak lain lah in the last pic. is that really u?

hahahahha!

Boss Stewie said...

michael: hahaa why leh? that's limited edition.. but if you guys all want.. you want i can see whether we can get more made.

al: haha yah it is me

whisperingshout said...

you sure it's dirt? not your sexy mole multiplying? :P

Gila Babi said...

WOW !!

Boss !! I thought you were driving Waja ?

How come it's a BMW ?!

William Leong said...

gila babi, since when got waja before?

boss, if u guys are planning on making more of those shirts, count me in too buddy! and you so free hor? while changing tire can snap photos, camera also dirty liao ><

Jackson said...

I think I'd rather flag down the cute chick in her pink VW Beetle and just say I don't have a spare tire anymore.. Hitch a ride and let the AAA take care of things :P

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

well lucky u drive beemer lor..drive any old proton car..and u prob don need ppl to honk u..ur car prob cant move d if really puncture..so how much does a piece of that tyre cost?

B@m®©™ said...

hmmm i just had a puncture this morning.....gahhhh, no need to change the whole tyre la, can just patch it 5 dollar max

Mic. Tham said...

simply because I cant differentiate moles to stain, I think you've got two moles in the last pic :P Lolx

eve said...

absolutely *lllllloooooooovvvvvveee* that pink VW! so cute! =D

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Wah! Bossy drive a BM!!! So classy!

Boss Stewie said...

whispering: ARGH!!! IT'S CONTAGIOUS!!!

gila: my waja has BMW rims

william: okok i make one for u lol

jackson: clever boy!

joe: do you thikn it matters? it's just the tires

bacmee: eh mine cost RM15 to mend

mic: yesyess.. i do have twoo

eve: hehehe cute leh i also like

Boss Stewie said...

hor ny: no lar it's not lar.. u mistaken di

Gila Babi said...

LOL ~ I read in Your posts a while ago with a Ferari and BMW and a Nissan Skyline one .. You said you were driving Waja ma .. :P

Cheng Chun said...

You look tired after the change of the tire. :)

Danny Foo said...

You forgot to mention how soak is the t-shirt after changing the tire in this blistering heat. :P

Johnny Ong said...

i thot ppl bully small cars only but yr car kena bully also?? must be from a kancil owner...hehe

Boss Lepton said...

boss, spare tire is for you to use when u cannot find a workshop. When you have a workshop nearby, just ask them to come n fix it la boss, u're in the middle of the city

wheee said...

oiii boss!! why u wear ur nuffie shirt to change tires?? later other people think nuffnang is some car workshop how?? :(

Chapree Da Grande said...

To change car's tire can be considered ok compared to changing my bike's rear tire. Need to take out exzos. I'm not bs-ing you.

Oh, hi btw! It's been a while XD

Dan said...

JL from the competition sabo u la. Put nails where u parked it.

Time to upgrade. The new 3 comes standard with runflats.

Shireen said...

seriously... there's just the cam whore in you aint it....

Innocent^^Guy said...

u have to remember to tell your readers, after changing your tire, make sure you fix the punctured tire...the tire doesn't fix itself in the trunk. If you don't fix it, the next time you puncture your tire again, you will have no more tires to change :D

belle said...

bossss!!! i know u might eat me i very scare!! but u really look fat!

Boss Stewie said...

gila: oh i do drive a waja

cheng: yah damn tiring

danny: yah!! you have no idea

johnny: i also small car wat

boss: it was a sunday lar boss

whee: hahaha Bengkel Motor Nuffnang

chapree: it's been a while dude... how r u

dan: lol lol

shireen: yah yah hahahaa

innocent: hahaha okok hear hear!!!

belle: i...am...going..to.... kill... you...