Saturday, March 01, 2008

Boss Stewie Crashes The JobsDB Career Fair

Thursday morning, I found myself at the KLCC Convention Center for the Opening of the JobsDB Career Fair. I've heard loads about this fair since JobsDB approached Nuffnang for a campaign last year to promote this fair.It wasn't gonna be like any other fair. It was going to be the first PAPERLESS one in Malaysia.

When I got there they made me fill in a really short form.
Just some basic details you know... name, e-mail contact number, list of ex-girlfriends, bad words that I use over a daily basis and etc etc.

Everyone lies or exaggerate in their CVs right?

Well these details isn't gonna be a huge part of your CV so you may or may not need to lie about them but I decided to lie anyway and bring over the filled in form to the registration counter.

But I'm a terrible liar, I always get caught...
Then after that they showed me to a lot of laptops they had ready for me to do some serious lying. Time to fill up my CV :P

I took hold of the keyboard and typed away.Now when you want to lie about a CV. There are a few sections you need to take note of.

Academic Results: So people think you're Einstein reincarnated.

SPM results: 45 A1s
A-Level results: 8As
Graduated from Harvard University
Masters at Stanford
PHD at Oxford University

Extra-Curricular Activities: So people think you're well-rounded

Now nobody gives a shit about you being in the scouts or girl guides... why? because every other person is. So to stand out.. you have to make your employer feel that.. well.. you're outstanding like this:

-Member of the Red Cross. Have traveled on peace missions to Africa 13 times in the past 3 years.

-Captain of the Malaysian Debate Team. Second-runner up for the World's Debate Championship (Don't lie until too ho liao say second-runner up can di... after people suspicious).

-Captain of the National Football Team

Languages Spoken and Written (Because everyone likes a multi-lingual fella):

-English
-BM
-Chinese
-Japanese
-Thai
-Korean
-French
-German
-Russian
-Spanish

And finally... previous work experiences which would depends in what industry you're applying for but say you're applying for a job in Finance at Maybank, this is what you should write:

-Junior Analyst at Goldman Sachs London
-Senior Analyst at Morgan Stanley New York
-Associate Director at Lehman Brothers New York
The people at Maybank will be so blown away.. the first thing they'll probably ask you at the interview is
"So with all this work experience... why do you want to come back to Malaysia to take a pay cut and work here?"

In which your model answer should be
"Because I love my country".

FUIYOH... they'll be smiling at you like this man.
So I finishing lying telling the truth about myself in my CV and headed to another registration counter where they gave me a tag with a bar code on it and told me that's all I was going to need to apply for jobs at this Job Fair.

All I had to do was go to any job booth I see there and let them scan my code... effectively digitally passing on my kickass CV to them.

I walked around the fair looking for a friend of mine.

Do yall remember Christine here from 88DB?She was playing boss.. managing the biggest booth at the event... all taken up by 88DB.

Her booth had everything from free muffins to free massages to... heck even a huge balloon floating on top of it.

Booths don't get any bigger than this!After spending some time checking out the place, Nicholas (our Marketing Manager at Nuffnang) who was with me reminded me that it was time for us to run off to another meeting and that I should stop using this wonderful Career fair as a reason for me to slack off!

So we left.

*sniff*

Bye bye JobsDB Career Fair!If you guys are free this weekend, go check it out at the KLCC Convention Center. Pretty nice to see the first paperless career fair.

I'm can't say for sure if you'll definitely get a job there because I myself wasn't really applying (Unless Nuffnang one day decides that my "services are no longer required") but there are quite a lot of booths there.

Details at JobsDB

21 comments:

yapthomas said...

was there too. it was impressive with their digital application thingy.
i told them I do not want to sign up for the CV thing but they insist else I can't get in.. -__-

Psst! Tim!, I saw your two staff "ponteng kerja" at KLCC!! :P

*runs*

Boss Stewie said...

yap: WOI? WHO?!!

Skyler said...

Michelle and I went to Cold Storage to get some junk food because the office never has any anymore.......

Boss Stewie said...

skyler: LIAR!!! YOU BOTH WENT SHOPPING FOR PJS RITE???

Genova said...

impressive CV man..hahaha... a big sin

yapthomas said...

Tim, i tell you.. you will sure drool over their PJs!!

michelleho said...

Paperless... Then how come you still need to fill in a form on 'paper' to register? Go all out paperless mah...

Hehe... pretty cool. This concept has been done by some exhibition fairs for quite some time already. All in the name of technology!

pinkpau said...

hahahaha skyler and michelle!!! caught red handed hahaha

i like this paperless fair!! so environmental :D *in love*

Simon Seow said...

I'm still happy with my current job, so don't need their service.

CBB said...

Wow exaggeration to the max la boss :p

haha yeap the paperless thing is cool. save time and effort from writing your cv's so many times

Skyler said...

Where got I still don't have PJs =( I am very sad =(

AND ALSO even if I were shopping for PJs you should be happy because it is YOUR PARTY'S DRESS CODE I am adhering to.

BobbyT said...

youngsters don't exaggerate too much though, guess you will be 'tu lan' when people reject you with this:

"i am sorry sir, you are overqualified for us"

than this:

"i am sorry sir, we think that you do not have the appropriate qualification for this job"

hehe

Hor*ny Ang Moh said...

Hi Bossy! Any vacancy for a poker??? I have no paper qualification & lowely educated but good in pokeing! Any such job or not arrr??? Pity no in KL! Will be most interested to apply for jobs!
Have a nice day!

Geek @ Kedai.TV said...

Thought of advertising bro..but JobsDb costs were not worth it for us.

Anyway, I know you will be asking for my CV....

Diplome in Electronics Engineering. Degree in Infomation Systems, NUS.
Degree in Computing and Fuzzy Neural Systems, Doctor of Medicine, U.Paris-Sud
Masters in Computing - Microsoft University.
Bachelor of Info Systems - U.Portsmouth

Masters in Science - Canterbury
Masters in Network Security (MSc-MBA) UEL
Masters of Education - CAMBRIDGE

Heh heh heh...

Thanks for popping by Timmy. See U in KL.

AZRIN @China

mIcheLLe said...

HOR
yapthomas i kill you!!!!

we really went to cold storage. there is physical proof in the office!!! :D :D

Charlie said...

timmy, can i get my birthday wish granted ? pretty please.... It my birthday today. I've posted in on my blog. looking forward to hear from you. By the way will you be attending EYLN 2008 ????

Boss Stewie said...

Genova: haha!!! Impressive leh…

Yapthomas: hah! I am going to have a word with the BOTH of them

Michelle: ok la ok la.. so maybe there was a teeny bit of paper

Pink: yes.. scold them for me

Simon: that’s great to know

Cbb: ahahhaa.. yes yes environmental friendly

Skyler: yeah but NOT SHOPPING DURING OFFICE HOURS!!! HOR!!! KENA CAUGHT DI!!! And by one of my blog readers instead of me.. HAHAHAHAHA

Bobby: well I’d rather be rejected for the first reason.. won’t U? haha kind of an ego boost

Hor ny: hahaha kl got plenty of jobs what

geek; wah Cambridge you put in caps big big haha

michelle:: hahahaha michelle.. I KEEL YEW!!!

Charlie: yes dude… we can get you the ticket. You did after all do a post.. sort of

windwalker said...

Great ideas for lying on CV...hahaha...

Chris said...

omg the paperless job fair is ABSOLUTELY FREAKING COOL!!!!

why didn't they have this in the career fairs in Singapore... damn?!

chris @ mrchrispy.com

McGarmott said...

Believe it or not, I can speak and/or read every language on your list (except Japanese ...). Some are beginners level only lah. Неплохо, да?

Charlie said...

Thanks tim, but i never receive any invitation or ticket from nuffnang woh.

Anyway, Esther did offer to bring me along. So will be looking forward to meet you and other nuffnangers.