Friday, May 02, 2008

THIS IS WAR!!!

For some reason, my apartment has been a little infested with cockroaches lately and that is really very surprising to me seeing how damn bloody sparkling clean my apartment is.

That being said, I can live with a few cockroaches around I mean heck, they're only part of our ecosystem. If your home doesn't have cockroaches it has lizards or mosquitoes or whatever so I guess we all have to settle for some pest sooner or later.

Lately however, the cockroaches have been getting on my nerves.

One time, Samantha was over at my place and using the toilet when she suddenly screamed from inside
"AIEEEEEEEEEeeeeee!!!!! COCKROACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Immediately running out to me and saying
"KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!"

My favourite tool for killing cockroaches is the way they used to do it centuries ago... using a cannon from Fort Cornwallis.OR using a newspaper, whichever nearer and within reach.

I mean nothing beats a newspaper, just two hard whacks and any cockroach dies instantly... meaning its feelers don't even move!

Another time Sam screamed for help, I got a piece of tissue paper, caught the cockroach with it in my hand and squished it then flushed it down the toilet.

Sam said it was a disgusting way to kill a cockroach.

I mean.. what the hell is a CIVILIZED way of killing a cockroach? Catch it, put it in an aquarium with food and a TV in it and wait for it to die of old age?!?
Anyway I never let the cockroaches bother me much until.... yesterday.

I was taking a shower and I suddenly felt something crawling around my foot. I looked down only to see a damn cockroach there.

My first impulse (and I would imagine anyone else's would be) was to drown it with my shower water.

Once I wet it enough, I stepped out of the shower to grab another piece of tissue paper and squished it only to later flush it down the toilet.

I was pissed off.

I can live with seeing a few of them every once in a while BUT YOU DO NOT DISTURB A MAN'S PRIVATE TIME IN THE SHOWER!!!

THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!

So just today I went to the supermarket and found myself in this aisle.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH all the deadly weapons I would need for my war against the cockroaches.

There were a few kinds.

The typical spray and even all sorts of cockroach traps.
I stocked up my grocery basket with some sprays and what I like to call "land mines".


These are cockroach traps with 'food' for the cockroach to go inside and take. Then the cockroach brings the food back to its home and its family only to find out later that IT IS POISONOUS AND THEY ALL DIE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhhahaahahahThe minute I got home I started laying my land mines around my house.
They come packed together like that.

Only for you to separate them and lay them around corners of your kitchen and/or toilet.


Then I got my firearm (spray) with me and started walking around my apartment looking for some cockroaches to kill.

Cockroaches love to hide in dark and even more so in damp areas so I opened some of my kitchen cabinets and sprayed inside.
Instantly a few cockroaches came out and I was just about to pick them up and squish them when I noticed Sam next to me watching what I would do.

So I killed them in a less violent way, just spray them to death.

Heck, Ming once told me he saw a big cockroach that he had to empty 1/5 of one of these spray cans on.
The result was satisfying.

I killed so many cockroaches just like that.

Sam was too disgusted to look so eventually I had to ask Ming to help me take pictures of me fighting my little battle.

Of course it wasn't quite an even match.There I was with every weapon available to eliminate the cockroaches and there wasn't too much that they could do about it but run.

Ah.. only thing is.. I've killed so many cockroaches in the past 30 minutes that I sometimes wonder if there will be some gigantic sized mother cockroach out there coming to look for me at work one day.

Don't think my 'tissue squishing' trick will work on that one. I'd better bring along one of these sprays wherever I go.

27 comments:

Michelle Ho said...

I don't mind a few roaches scampering around... what I don't like is the SMELL they leave in their wake! EUW!!!

Are they ALL gone? The ones at my place miraculously 'disappeared'! Hehehe...

Genova said...

tissue squising rocks...hahaha
classic

electronicfly said...

omg bosssssssssssss
why la must u put pics of ewws up?
yerrrrrrrrrrrr.

btw, what spray did u use? mine suxxors. spray the whole can d and all i'm left with is a wriggly/ running away roach and a way oily floor. :(


eh, can I pinjam yr skills next time i see cockroaches in my hs? thankew in advance! :D

~em~ said...

ew.. ahaha... i'm glad there aren't any roaches here in uk... at least not where i'm staying...

MrChrispy said...

you need I R O N M A N to the rescue!

Suet Li said...

DO YOU KNOW!??!!? that cockroaches don't freaking die!!! They pretend to die after you squish/spray/boil/chop them and then they somehow assemble all their gross body parts together and continue living!

ok i'm just kidding about that last part but i swear i read somewhere before that they'll never die. they'll take over the earth one day just you wait.

[fong88] said...

u smile so evil in the last pic..i know you are a lil excited that u kill all the cockroaches..:P

Twinkle said...

Mak aiii!!! So many that scary menjijikkan lipas eww eww eww 100X!

Kill them all Boss Stewie!!!

I wonder if in remote China they have lipas masak soup... **uweekkk!!*

carol said...

LOOK FOR RAID COCKROACH INSECTICIDE! Srsly! :)

I freaking hate roaches omg. nightmare.

suet why you say they will take over the world EEE those pests!

RealGunners said...

if u dirty your house enough, even in the UK, the roaches will come and be your housemates...

Victor said...

hmmm....boss and samantha have been spending awfully a lot of time together huh.

so boss, wat's the update?

;-) hehehehe

Cheng Chun said...

Boss, I anti-mosquitos one. That one is even harder to fight. T_T

Anyway, the trick to kill the cockroach is to spray NOT on top of it but below it. I know it sounds stupid and impossible to do it but their hard shell protects them from chemicals. Yes they do die if you spray a lot but it's because it's so much sure la it will die!!! :P

Btw, cockroach doesn't die in water. It lives for about 24-48 hours in it. So, please don't flush them alive. Hahaha. They will just come back from the sewers. And you know what that means. Eeeeewwwww.

And they are one of the only creatures to survive an atomic bomb. Scary stuff eh.

FeR said...

ugh! i hate roaches...and also afraid of them. *sigh*
like michelle said, they have this smell...ugh!!! because of my fear i'm particularly sensitive of it and when i do smell it, i'd prepare my "weapons" and watch out for them. :P

i hear somewhere that for every roach you see, there's another 12/20 (i don't know, i hear that two numbers only) around.
@_@

Nur Sarah Lam said...

I don't have cockroach issue, but I have rat issue but then I have solved it without using any of the pesticides or sprays..just wait until the rat die on its own..hahaha..

JenKin Yat said...

eh boss..why that roach sleeping on its back that 1 like crippled 1 leg dy? u patah-ed its leg izzit?

Kritz said...

i heard spraying soap water works too?
it'll clog up the pores till the thing cannot breeaatthee..

or put pandan leaf so they will not be there... or so i've heard

Belle said...

landmines LOL!!! too much of command&conquer isit! anyway kane's wrath sucks *spit*
i never like to use those spray! almost useless.
i usually whack with vogue. just whack once and jeng jeng jeng

RealGunners said...

actually, they r so tiny that it's not even a threat, u can easily pijak them or hit them with slippers or something.. no need for large scale warfare la hahaha :D

Nikkiko said...

HAHA.

have fun on your quest to killin' roaches. lord. i had one lieing in a cup in the toilet, freaked the daylights out of me.

chased it into the shower and sprayed it -_- unfortunately it seemed to be rather water resistant even after 6mins+ of being doused in water. grr!

BeWhoYouWantToBe. said...

boss why you and xiaxue wage war on household insects on the same day! hahahaha she walking around killing lizards you walking around killing cockroaches!

joshuatly said...

i wont kill cockroach coz....
im scare of it...
i will shout for my life!
hahaha

Shah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shah said...

Urghh - those are the only things on earth that terrify the crap out of me!!! Especially the flying ones that come directly at your face as you're spraying Ridsect at em...

Bryan said...

I frigging hate cockroaches too especially flying ones. I tried to declare war with them before but when they appear, i run away like a bitch =(

Next time i know who to call when i see a cockroach. =D

Niama cockroaches!

Bryan from bryanchin.net

XiangMei said...

This mean that the cockroaches love ur house very much...and they wan to be ur pet...muahahahah!

nikeez said...

i hate them cockroahes too!

here's how i survived one such attack: http://weblog.xanga.com/dead_cockroach/654186816/the-attack-of-gokuburi-san.html

Simon Seow said...

This is nothing, my house got rats even, running around the ceiling on my room while I'm trying to get some shut eye.