Slightly less than 3 years ago, I graduated from University College London. It was a time of celebration! I was done with my Economics course that had me see the most math I had ever seen before in my life.
Seriously... I did so much math at university I graduated only to learn one thing: that is Mathematicians can come up with formulas to represent ANYTHING IN LIFE.
English ----> "I am a pothole"
Math ----> "ϕ[ X , Y ] = [ϕ( X ), ϕ(Y )]"
English ----> " I stood up to pee in the wind"
Math ----> "A = A0 ⊇ A1 ⊇ · · · ⊇ An ⊇ · · ·"
English ---> "I like peeing in the wind but I find it very inconvenient when my pee flies back at me so since then I have stopped peeing in the wind and started shitting in the wind instead. Shit's heavier"
Math ----> "Ro ∼= i =1 HomR (ni Vi , ni Vi ) = i =1 End R (ni Vi ) ∼= , i =1 Mn i (End R (Vi )) by Corollary 10.13 ∼= r Mn ( Do ) by deﬁnition of Do i .
Well ok I'm exaggerating but you get my drift.
Anyway, after graduation I was posed the question that many of my Malaysian friends there too had to answer.
"To stay in London to work... or to go back home to Malaysia".
I was one among the minority of Malaysian students graduating in my year who willingly chose to come home. Everyone else wanted to stay... by hook or by crook.
3 years doesn't sound like a long time, but it feels as if so much time has passed since I left London and just today I started wondering what my life would be if I had stayed.
I mean there are good parts that I like to living in London and back in Malaysia... like how I don't see how I could ever do without my weekly Klang Bak Kut Teh now.
But how I often still crave for my Four Seasons Bayswater duck so much that I sometimes accidentally curse the word "DUCK" when I actually meant to say "FUCK" on MSN.
and how I miss my waiter friend at the Four Seasons who would only need to ask me one question to take my order when I walk into the restaurant: "How many ducks this time?"
If I stayed in London I would probably have gone to work in an investment bank like a lot of my other friends there.
But this year I would probably be on the streets flipping burgers fresh out of being retrenched from those banks that all of us used to worship.
I probably wouldn't have a company of my own with the most vibrant young team
but I would probably have a lot of Great Britain Pounds in my bank that when converted to Ringgit would buy me enough Tesco toilet paper to wipe the asses of 3,281 elephants and 1 Barney.
I probably would spend a lot less money on my XBOX and its games.
But a lot more money on other useless toys like my BB-Guns that I had when I was there.
And that would probably go on till I eventually would have to one day decide that I needed to cut up my credit card.
I probably wouldn't have lost touch with some of my best friends there.
But I wouldn't have made the new good ones that I have here too.
But I probably wouldn't be able to have coffee with them like I sometimes get to do with the humble Desmond Kiu here, one of the Top 20 bloggers in Malaysia.
I would probably have to walk or take public transport wherever we go.
But I probably won't have to be stuck in the massive jams that I see every day after work.
I would probably have less family commitments and more alone time to make trips to Regent's Park just to read a book all day.
But I probably wouldn't be as close to my family as I like.
I probably would have a non-Malaysian girlfriend. Maybe a British, French, Korean or Japanese.
But she probably wouldn't be my soulmate (because there's only one and she's right here in KL).
Most importantly, I probably wouldn't have to think back about what my life would be if I stayed in London since I would be there.
But I also wouldn't be as happy as I am today.
Project 365: Day 32, 18th March 2009
I'm glad I came home...
I sometimes wonder "What if?".... but I never ask "Why didn't I?"