Sunday, October 22, 2006

The Taugeh

Let me tell you a story I recently heard from a friend (which I will refer to here as Bush).

Bush was out with his friends at the local char koay teow stall having lunch.

When the time came for them to order, one of Bush's friends
(which I will refer to here as Entau Bah)

specifically ordered

"Char Koay Teow mai taugeh" (Char Koay Teow without taugeh).
Bush thought it was a little weird since most Penang people eat taugeh (though Stewie here doesn't), so he asked Entau Bah why didn't he eat tau geh.

Entau Bah calmly replied
"Aihhh... long story lar... dowan talk about it"...

That was an answer Bush wasn't willing to accept so he pushed harder and finally Entau Bah let it out

"Well ok lar... I tell you. Last time I was having anal sex with my gf. Then when I pulled out my penis I saw a half digested taugeh attached to it... so now I don't eat tau geh anymore".DID YOU HEAR THAT?!?!?!?
HE PULLED OUT A HALF DIGESTED TAUGEH FROM HER BUTT (which was probably his punishment for having anal sex in the first place).

The poor guy must've been traumatised.
Yet, I couldn't help but wonder...

What did they do after he pulled out the tau geh from her butt...

I could think two scenarios.

I one scenario, the girlfriend could've been a little embarrassed, giggle and say
"Oh sorry about that... must've been from the koay teow soup I had last week."

then take the half digested beansprout from his hand and put it in her mouth.

But I reckon the more likely scenario would be...
"Darling... if you love me... eat the taugeh... or I share with you... I eat half you eat half".

The poor dude probably has nightmares of him being lost in mountains of taugeh. To the guys who're reading this, I bet you're all thinking how you could avoid this bad experience

(Which is perfectly natural since we don't like to make the same mistake others make right? Well done).

So if the solution you're thinking is
"Hmm ok I think I better not have (or think of having) anal sex anymore"...

then good for you.


But if you're thinking

"Hmm.. ok I better make sure my girlfriend doesn't eat tau geh before we have anal sex"... then... congratulations.. you're officially more of a bastard than I am

43 comments:

MaN|acZ said...

so the reason he's scared of taugeh because taugeh makes him think of THAT
experience?

bunny said...

eww.... that's yucky!!!

bunny said...

eww.... that's yucky!!!

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

at least he didn't pull out half-digested cockles or stuff. muahahahaha

i'd have the both of us take laxatives to clear up the insides though, rather than just abstaining. :P

cely said...

oiks.. i love taugehssssssssssss

Boss Stewie said...

maniacz: yes.. because taugeh makes him think of that experience

bunny: haha!!

suicidal: uhmm.. if he saw a sea hum in there.. i doubt he would know it's a sea hum... :P

cely: somebody better tell your bf this story

Gwen said...

Ok, no anal penetration for me with another woman. Unless she doesn't eat anything with tau geh in it first. Hmm ... I deal with baby poop, nothing really scares me anymore about excrement. And most mothers will qft lolol

Boss Stewie said...

wait wait gwenn...

"Ok, no anal penetration for me with another woman"

Please tell me you're not saying what i think you're saying

Little Ray said...

Careful what you're saying! :D

aL said...

...I one scenario, the girlfriend could've been a little embarrassed, giggle and say
"Oh sorry about that... must've been from the koay teow soup I had last week."

then take the half digested beansprout from his hand and put it in her mouth...


BOSS, YOU ARE SO GROSS!!! hahahaha! yucks!

chocolat-latte' said...

eh. I heard of this before..

and apparently.. it wasn't even a girl he was having anal with..

it was a.. sheman..

HAHAHAHAHA

I'm serious! It's amazing how stories go about. ;)

Mz said...

haha, i've never heard of ppl talkin about the "things" comin out from the "back" during/after anal sessions, but then again..

stewie, u're sick!!! "i eat half, u eat half"..

WAH LAO YEH!!

i tot ppl clean up 1st before they poke each other from the back? keke

Boss Stewie said...

ray: ahahahahah

al: hahahaha i know.... the friend who told me the story hit me on the head when she saw me type that part out

chocolat: NOOoooo .... if it's a shemale that's MUCH worse!!!

mz: are u saying that u've never told ur bf to do something he didn't want to do for u.. under the pretense of "if you love me u'll do it?"

HAHAHA

J said...

I was feeling very hungry.
... but after reading that post, I totally lost my appetite.

Wow, Stewie - you are doing wonders for my diet!

Thanks man!
:P

vic said...

holy shit boss! this was the greatest story ever told in 2006. A taugeh sticking out of a girl's ass.
Wuahahhahahaha...

Boss Stewie said...

j: ahh i just did u a favour.. congratulations.. u may have just lost a little bit of weight :P

vic: hahahahaha

Ianfluenza said...

URGH!! That was harsh man. Gross to the max....

Boss Stewie said...

ian: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Eve said...

..... i hate taugeh also

Wingz said...

today's taugeh industries is the biggest user of food preservative.

Jackson said...

"Well, if it bothers you so much, honey, just put it back in!"


But seriously, that is one sick story >_<

Mz said...

stewie, i gave ur question a hard thought, n my answer is still no. i don't ask my bf to do things he doesn't want to under the pretense "if u love me u'll do it". hehe we usually use "u love me or not?" keke

but then again, i was referring my disgust to the "makan" part. the story might have just ended with the girl sayin "ee, throw it away lar, y r u still holding it??" or "don't tell me u dunno these things happen?? let's continue.."

either way, i think the disgusting part ended with the comin out of the beansprout. ;)

Gwen said...

Well, no straight guy would wanna be anal penetrated right? So I wouldn't have a chance of doing that, might as well be a woman on the receiving end. Sheesh.

<3

bodicea said...

fuck ew.

Boss Stewie said...

eve: i hate taugeh too.. it's just.. it's not really a vegetable, neither is it really a fruit or meat...

wingz: maybe that's why it didn't get digested... excessive chemicals

jackson: LOL... THAT IS JUST AS SICK AHAHAHAHA JACKSON

mz: oh... so u won't find it digusting if u ate half and ur bf ate the other half?

gwen: but what are you going to 'penetrate' that woman with? a very very big erected taugeh?

bodicea: LOL

Boss Stewie said...

eve: i hate taugeh too.. it's just.. it's not really a vegetable, neither is it really a fruit or meat...

wingz: maybe that's why it didn't get digested... excessive chemicals

jackson: LOL... THAT IS JUST AS SICK AHAHAHAHA JACKSON

mz: oh... so u won't find it digusting if u ate half and ur bf ate the other half?

gwen: but what are you going to 'penetrate' that woman with? a very very big erected taugeh?

bodicea: LOL

Kenny Ng said...

i like to eat tauker.

-erintan- said...

EWWWWWWW.... It's a mystery why it didn't digest lorr. I mean, our intestines are so freaking long.. How could it NOT digest?? It's so weird. But quite embarrassing right?? HAHAHAHAHA! Abstain.. Abstain... Why?? Why?? How is anal sex pleasurable? Wait, don't answer that. I don't want to know.

Boss Stewie said...

kenny: haha.. i hate taugeh

erin: yes yes erin.. u don't want to know :P

Mz said...

hayah.. stewie.. the "i eat half u eat half" story is only a guess mar.. i'm sayin the real ending to dat story might have ended with the beansprout comin out of the ass.

there are times when one eats too much n the stomach is not able to digest the food, normally the situation happens when the person doesn't chew their food properly. not some chemical dat doesn't help in digestion lar, chemicals are only used to "whiten" the taugeh. keke

Boss Stewie said...

mz: greatttt mz.. ur explanation about the taugeh not being digested... is.. interesting.. and uhmm.. u would know.. because...? :P

Daphne said...

what a rubbish entry lar. haha. i dont believe a word of it!

Boss Stewie said...

daphne: ahh unfortunately... it never happened to me so i can't verify how logical this story is... no wait.. actually.. i meant to say... "FORTUNATELY it never happened to me..."

Lance said...

Dat explains the....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
nvm

Boss Stewie said...

jahahaha explains what lance"?

Applegal said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! *continues laughing for another 2 minutes*

That's disgusting and hilarious at the same time! I'm sooooo going to tell my guy friends!

Lenwë Aldaríon said...

rendang taugeh...

Boss Stewie said...

applegal: yes yes.. more disgusting than hilarious but uhm... yeah... :P

nicholas: YUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCK!!!!!!

stev said...

lol

grossed

a friend has a similar dislike for taugeh
i wonder if his 'true' story is similar to your friends...

Boss Stewie said...

stev: to be frank.. i don't even know if this guy's story is for reall.. but why would my friend lie to me eh?

lionel said...

How the HELL is that physiologically possible?

LinDa said...

ok, thats gross! haha..

Holyboy27 said...

he's gonna rememebr it for the rest of his life!

"Darling... if you love me... eat the taugeh... or I share with you... I eat half you eat half".

omg who the hell is gonna eat that?!