Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Penang Beaches

Hasan (my middle-eastern buddy from my London days) arrived in style at the Penang airport yesterday.

After graduation, he has since become an investment banker by profession and having just gotten a big fat bonus he decided to make a trip to Penang to visit me.

The first thing he said when he arrived at Penang was that he wanted to see the BEACHES and the SEA!!!

So after picking him up from the airport, I rushed him to the nearest public beach.

To the disappointment of many Penangites that contributed to the famous WALL OF CRAP near the Crown Prince Hotel Beach in Penang... Hasan the tourist... wasn't impressed.

And he wasn't even impressed that a particular "Daniel" had spray-painted his own name on the wall.

So to the Daniel that took the effort to display his artistic talent, I'm sorry you had to hear this...

At the end of the dreadful alley was the beautiful beach that people "apparently" come to Penang for (that is of course... according to Hasan)

Many public beaches in Penang are dirty as hell... littered with anything from plastic bags to condoms.

So on the beaches that ARE well-kept, there are big reminders to tell everyone using it to keep the beach CLEAN.

And the state government not only provide these beaches with a couple of bins

But up to four of them at ONE spot.
Just in case anyone is blind enough to miss them (I know plenty of such people).

Then again, it does help that this particular beach is taken care off by these two hotels (without them we'll be walking on used condoms instead of sand).

So after confidently assuring ourselves that we are considerate Penangites that don't litter, we walked deeper into the beach!

And took some pictures of the scenery
And of us IN the scenery ... WOOHOO!!!
Now the thing about the beaches in Penang is... PLENTY of locals hang out there... young and old (though most of the time young).

So while loitering around the beach I bumped into Eve, a fellow blogger and reader of this blog who upon seeing Hasan said

Hasan took a few minutes to defend himself by telling Eve how he thinks Macs are inferior to Windows-based PCs (and that I'm an idiot for buying one).

In the hope of stopping Hasan from talking shit about my Mac, I distracted him by pointing at a drink stand selling COCONUTS.

And being the nice polite host, I bought a coconut for Hasan.

To distract him further, I got him to pose with his coconut.
By the time he was sucking blissfully on his coconut, he had totally forgotten about his life-long mission to bitch about me buying my Mac (that I lurrrrrveee btw).Now I think the coconut is a DIRTY DIRTY FRUIT!

There is just no "innocent" way of holding it.

Pay attention to the way Hasan was "cupping" his coconut.

That is soo sooo dirty!

But how else would you do it?

How do you guys hold your coconuts?


Hasan said...

How rude. I am utterly disgusted with your papparazzi ways. Can't a man drink a coconut in peace!

Boss Stewie said...

LOl hasan.. that was quick! go to sleep!

linsey said...

i got tipped by Hasan
luckily there are no pics of somebody bending down ahem

swee lin said...

hey.. i've never seen that coconut stall before.. hmm...

clem said...

I grope my coconuts. mm.

Boss Stewie said...

linsey: hahaha i was CONSIDERING IT :P

swee lin: i think it's new.. i never saw it there before too

clem: yeah but how do you hold them?

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

i hold it that way too with a nice tight grab. i like my coconuts BIG and HUGEEEEEEEE, so if i don't hold them that way, they're gonna be all over the place now aren't they? bwahahahaha :p

clem said...

I cup my coconuts from below, regardless how dirty or how long the coconuts have not been washed. :) Sometimes I caress my coconuts gently..

Fei said...

Boss Stewie brainwashed all his readers to become hamsup. Tsk tsk.

I hold mine ala maggie mee style!

Boss Stewie said...

suicidal/clem: hahah! if this post gets any more raunchy.. i might have to take it down :P

fei: eh dun blame stewie!

Daphne said...

i place the coconut (i nearly said my coconuts) on the table when i drink, because its too heavy to hold.


ok lah the notion of coconuts has become dirty BECAUSE of this post of urs lah!!

Lance said...

Coconuts are very very very dirty fruits... *nods head*

slacker said...

i remember that beach behind the hotel.. those damn touts at night who charge a fee when you park near the houses at night!

MaN|acZ said...

Boss Stewie has big hands...OoooOOo... nice for holding coconutes..


Boss Stewie said...

daphne: hahahah!!! ahh... for a minute there i thought i managed to drag u in the dirt hole with me

lance: hahah!!! yes indeed!!

slacker: yes!!! and sometimes they charge up to RM3... expensive!

maniacz: no lar.. i where got big hands

mae said...

Crystal Crown Beach very nice for beach parties!! Gonna hold one at the end of the year to celebrate MEGA FREEDOM MUAHAHAHAH!

Actually the way Encik Hassan hold his "coconut" is not wrong. YOU LA BOSS!! Only dirty fella's mind can think of this kind of thing! Encik Hassan is innocent of all charges of gatalness!

*starts pointing fingers at the guilty person*

Oh yeah, I hold the coconut (I actually typed out "my coconuts" too and took 5 secs to realise my mistake =P )with both hands because I am a weakling.

Boss Stewie said...

mae: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... i'm innocent!

Boss Stewie said...

mae: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... i'm innocent!

MaN|acZ said...

Note to Boss Stewie:

pls conduct coconut holding #101 class.

clem said...

raunchy eh? since when did my comment suggested any detail of raunchiness? ;)

Chapree Da Grande said...

LOL Boss, you really a dirty fella. :P

I missed this beach when I was at Penang. Next time must go without my parents ler. Easy to jalan2.

chocolat-latte' said...

No kiddin?
Condoms on beaches?
Now that's something new.. I always hear condoms on top of hills.. where ppl used to jog in the morning and end up seeing many used condoms laying around.. HmMm..

Boss Stewie said...

maniacz: hahahah! boss stewie is not the expert in holding coconuts.. trust me

clem: hah! well i guess it depends on how you look at it :p

chapree: ehh! the fruit is dirty! not me

audrey: what u haven't done it on the beach before?

MaN|acZ said...

how come Boss Stewie alwiz bump into "lui"s ar?


Julia said...

I like his fingers.

Julia said...

and when drinking a coconut, it is usually held by two hands and brought very close to coconuts of my own. (:

Boss Stewie said...

maniacz: yes i am often lucky :P

julia: hahahaha i'll tell him u said that

chocolat-latte' said...

Tim, do you FIND any beaches in KL? you can ONLY find B*tches in KL. Heh.

and I'm not interested in doing it in beaches either. for all you know, you spotted me and make a vid out of it.


suicidalconversationjunkie said...

i not dirty!!!! i mean no raunchiness! *innocent expression*

u dirty hamsap boss dun try to malign us horrrrrr hehehe :p

Hasan said...

Thank you all, your support means so much to me against the evil Boss Stewie. Sniff. I'm touched. Not like the coconut.

julia said...

hi hasan. i like your fingers.

Boss Lepton said...

I disagree

I think that anything more than a handful (of coconuts) is wasted :D

if u get wat i mean

Boss Stewie said...

tim: i ahven't been lucky to spot u yet choc

suicidal hahah!!!

hasan: hah hasan...

boss: i dun get it boss

hasan said...

Hi Julia, glad you like my fingers

Gwen said...

I love the way you groped that coconut, I'd let you grope mine but my husband might cut your coconuts off.