Meet Jay Chou!

This is an Advertorial.

One of the joys I experience about working with Nuffnang is being able to give bloggers the right things somehow.

A few months ago, May Zhee sent me an SMS saying
“Tim… I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO BEG OF YOU!!! IT’S ABOUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”.I replied her wondering what the hell could be so important.
“What what?”

And she said
“JAY CHOU IS COMING TO MALAYSIA IN FEBRUARY!!! PLEASE GET ME TICKETS TO SEE HIM!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!”.A little dumbfounded I said
“Jay Chou is not exactly my brother or childhood friend… what makes you think I can get you what you want?”

And she cheekishly replied
“You know a lot of people… I’m sure you can find a way!!!”

I put down the phone thinking that May Zhee is going to be soooo disappointed when she finds out that I can’t possibly help her with her love of her life… until the people at Mamee approached Nuffnang for an ad campaign to promote their “Be Funky with Funkees” contest.

To take part in the contest the participants are required to pose in the funkiest way with a basketball and a packet of one of these Mamee Funkees.Which actually tastes pretty nice.

So I first went to check out the “competition”: “Funky” poses that some of the other people did like this dude here.
Or these people

or even these two nice ladies.
Yet I had no clue as of what to do.

So I sat down in our office for a while and asked my colleagues what I could do.

Some of them suggested that I do a serious pose like this which was honestly a really really hard thing for me to do… you know... appearing serious.If you know me in person, I normally can’t naturally stop smiling for long.

Then they suggested that I do this.
Do you think I’ll win?

I don’t either.

SNIFF

If you think you can do better than me… go here and join.

Or if you’re too shy to take pictures of yourself and pose but still wanna try yourself at a chance to meet Jay Chou or prizes like an LG Flat TV, iPod, and T-shirts of Jay Chou’s upcoming movie Kung-Fu Dunk that will be out on the 7th Feb 2008, then just go buy a packet of Mamee Funkees and if you’re lucky you might see one of these winning cards.

The winner gets exclusive passes to the Kung Fu Dunk Uth FEST event at 1-Utama which starts at 10am this 2nd February 2008.

The event is set to have a fashion show by Converse, an auto show, a games booth by the Uth crew, a Kung Fu performance by Hapkune Do, a Street Dance performance by Street Fusion and most important of all, the winner will be seated as close as anyone in the public can get to Jay Chou.

Now May Zhee is lucky because Nuffnang is getting a few of those exclusive tickets to give to their Glitterati and she's one of them so she doesn't have to do the contest.

But unfortunately… I wanna go too but there weren’t enough Glitterati tickets to go around so… I’m gonna be eating Funkees for breakfast, lunch and dinner over the next 3 days and if I still don't win then ish.. I'll just go back to Penang and sulk or something.

A Sad Valentine's Day Story

Okay Valentine's Day is coming up in about two weeks!

That's it!!!

The one day in the year which mankind decided to have just to make single men and women out there miserable!!!

It's like the married people or people in relationships go up to single people on that day and piss around them and say
"HAH!!! YOU ARE ALONE TODAY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"So anyway... to celebrate such a miserable day.. let me tell you all a sad Valentine's day story from one of my friends that I heard of a long time ago.

Now let me name this guy John.

For Valentine's Day some time back, John was still single. But John is one of those men you kinda wonder why he's single. I mean.. he's not undesirable or anything... well he isn't good looking but he's pretty rich, drives a nice car
and pretty smart. He went to a good university.

Just about 3 weeks before Valentine's Day that year... John met Elaine. Now Elaine isn't exactly one of the hottest chicks you will ever see... she's not bad looking but the plus point was... she was very very cute.. She had big big eyes the size of dinner plates.
One day... knowing that Elaine might also feel a little sense of.... lonelyness during Valentine's Day (having broken up with her previous bf about 6 months before), John decided to ask Elaine out for Valentine's Day and to his delight she agreed.

The only condition was that she didn't want to be too pressured. She didn't want to be taken to one of those romantic candle-lit restaurants.

It was going to be their first date and she wanted something more casual.. like go to a cafe in a mall.

John was delighted and he really didn't care if she wanted him to take her to Murni's for Valentine's Day... the fact was that he was going out with her.

On the day itself, John went to pick Elaine up from her home. On his way there he suddenly felt the small urge to run to the nearest toilet to take a dump but he didn't want to be late... so he decided to hold it until at least after the date.

John had planned Elaine a few wonderful surprises.

He wrote her a nice card... not with fancy poems or anything, just a simple card with the words
"Thank you for spending the loneliest day of the year with me".And bought her flowers because he believes that every girl should receive flowers for Valentine's Day!

At dinner they picked a nice cafe in a mall, and sat down.

Just as he was sitting down, John kinda felt the urge to go to the toilet again to take a dump... but it was a horrible time to do so... not on his first date with this really really cute girl right?

So he sucked the crap in (literally) and tried to distract himself from thinking such thoughts.

Elaine enjoyed John's company that night.. I mean... John actually has a pretty good sense of humour and she really enjoyed the little surprises he had for her. I mean they weren't particularly over-romantic but just ... nice.. and flattering to a girl.

Anyway... just about halfway through their dinner, John felt the urge again this time he felt his crap really close to the exit of his rear so he excused himself from the table, gracefully walked out of the cafe and as soon as the cafe was behind him he RAN LIKE FOREST GUMP TO THE NEAREST TOILET.
He reached the toilet in time only to find all but one of the cubicles there being used and the last one so polluted with someone else's unflushed turd he couldn't bear to do his business there.

So he clenched his fists and stood waiting for one more cubicle to open up.

After a few minutes, one of the cubicles opened up and John rushed into it.

He took off his jeans faster than a hooker could've done it and sat on the toilet. Less than a second later, he sprayed so much liquid crap out of his rear end the toilet any living germ inside the toilet must've thought it was in Niagara Falls.
John had a smile on his face... I mean there is nothing else more satisfactory than that sense of relief!

Soon enough, his work there was complete.

Business was done and now it was time to wipe his ass.

He looked around and to his HORROR he couldn't find a roll of toilet paper in the cubicle.

He looked for the second best option, a HOSE, but there was only a tap and the tap was placed oddly enough that it wasn't possible for him to wash his ass with it without a hose... not unless he was able to unhook his ass from his rear and handwash it himself.
He began to panic for a bit... and he considered his options.

He had his phone with him... but who could he call? He couldn't possibly call any of his friends.. they won't make it there in time...

Even worse... he could NEVER call his date... I mean how romantic will that be
"Hi Dear.. I'm taking a shit in the nearby toilet and I don't have anything to wipe my soiled ass with... could you please go to Watsons and grab me some tissue?"
It was his first date and he wasn't going to screw it up!!!!

So he kept thinking to himself.. think think think...

What could he wipe his ass with?

He reached into his pockets hoping for something but the only thing in it apart from his phone was his wallet.

He took out his wallet and that's when he saw a way out.

He had just gone to the ATM before his date and he had plenty of paper in his wallet... by paper I mean money.. and by money I mean fresh RM50 notes. He didn't have any RM1s or RM10s with him.

He counted his money to find out how many wipes he had.He had RM300 in his wallet, that's 6 notes of RM50.

6 Wipes is enough to clean off his ass and lucky for him... he won't have any money left to pay for dinner but he could use his credit card.

But the thought of wiping his ass with money disgusted him. It's DISRESPECTFUL to do such things to money.

He decided that he was just going to wipe his ass twice... till it clean enough to rush out to the nearest Watsons and buy some tissue.

After his two wipes, it still wasn't enough so he wiped another two times "spending" RM200 in total.

Then he put his pants back on and rushed out to Watsons to buy the biggest pack of tissues he could find and headed back to his cubicle to finish his cleaning job.
3 minutes and RM200++ later... he left the toilet relieved and walked back to his table where his food was cold and his date was waiting alone.

She looked at him walking back with a smile on his face and she asked
"Where did you go? Why so long?"

He said
"Sorry got a phone call..."

They finished dinner and John took Elaine home that night.

On his way home, John called me on my mobile
"YOU HAVE NO F*CKING IDEA WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH!!!!".
----------------------------------------

Two weeks from now, John will be celebrating his Valentine's Day with his girlfriend: Elaine.

Elaine still doesn't know what John had to go through that night just to keep a good impression of himself.

John now carries a packet of tissue paper with him wherever he goes.

Being Popular on YouTube

Can you believe that this video is one of the most watched videos on YouTube today?

I mean... watch the 29 second video everyone.




Then someone please tell me in your own words what you think the video was about.

So anyway... I started thinking.... all it took for that girl to be famous on YouTube was... take a video of herself with her webcam and try to look cute by:

1) Looking at the camera and trying to act cute
2) Showing a peace sign
3) Coming closer to the camera then back away

She didn't even have to say a WORD... and still she was one of the Most Watched video of the day.

This inspired me to get Samantha to do the same thing... I thought well... if it's that simple.. I bet she can be famous too.

So we tried recording many many times over... and this is how it worked out to be (watch the first video first or you won't have a clue what Samantha is trying to do in the video we made).

Rolly Polly Blogs

Last weekend, I was just having a slow relaxing day.

In the morning I woke up to go play some badminton with some friends. You know to lose some of the calories I put on from my recent addiction to Coffee Bean's Seasonal drink Ice-Blended Caramel Hazelnut.
That has got to be one of the sweetest but yet most yummy coffee drink in Coffee Bean to date but you know what's ridiculous about it? They only have it for a couple of months each year which is the most ridiculous thing ever!

Kinda reminds me of the McD's Curly Fries. I mean.. we all LOVE curly fries right? And I'm sure I'm not the only one that wishes they had it all year round as opposed to just around the CNY period.

Anyway back to my Ice-Blended Caramel Hazelnut.
I ABSOLUTELY LURRRVEEE IT!!!

AND I DON'T CARE IF I NEED TO JOG TO TIBET AND BACK JUST TO BURN OFF THE CALORIES FROM THE CREAM... I LURVE IT!!!!
So anyway that Sunday morning, after badminton I gave my family my routine Sunday phone call. One thing I believe every man has to always never neglect is family. So I make it a point to call home as much as I can....

I shared with my family the new things in my life and a new development on Nuffnang that I can't talk about yet.

They were happy to hear from me and we hung up the phone.

About 15 minutes later while I was driving to lunch, I got an SMS from my mother.

It said
"Gd to hear you're making good progress on biz grapevine stay modest n healthy n fit dont want to see rolly polly biz man"

That's right everyone.

My mum has promoted me from just being a "fat entrepreneur" to a "rolly polly" one.

So that's what I am now... ROLLY POLLY!!!

As much as I wanted to reply the text with caps saying
"ARRRRRGGHHHHH!!!! I'M NOT FAT I'M JUST BIG-BONED!!!".

I decided that it was no use fighting it anymore.

So I replied.
"Yes maam. Just played Badminton this morning so i lost some weight ok? Now going to eat nasi Kandar *rolly polly out*"

And that's all from Rolly Polly today.

Have a good weekend everyone.

My Speech at the 1st National Entrepreneurs Convention

Last weekend I was at PWTC for the Youth 08 event and the 1st National Entrepreneurs Convention where I was invited as a speaker representing one of the said Top 15 or so entrepreneurs in Malaysia under the age of 30.

Now don't be fooled.

My modest achievements there were dwarfed by the achievements the people I was put on stage had armed around their belts.

Take for example Kenny Goh (2nd row left) of Macro Kiosk Berhad, a CEO of a listed company at age 29 Or Ganesh Kumar of MOL Access (Seated in the middle) who also at 29 heads a huge listed company he founded along with Tan Sri Vincent Tan.

So if anything, I was learning from the speakers in the convention, rather than teaching as a speaker.

Soon enough it was my turn to go up and speak in front of the crowd of 500 people who paid good money to listen to me.Now I have given many speeches before... but this is the first time I had to speak in front of so many people. Naturally you can imagine how worried I was for one reason.

When I speak, I'm not exactly the kind of guy who can memorize a speech or read off powerpoints.

I'm the kind of guy who would prepare some pointers on a piece of paper even though I eventually never use it for anything more than a security blanket.

See that piece of paper in my left hand folded up?

At every speech I give, I always hold it... but never once open it up to look.
The night before, I thought of perhaps sharing some photos on the journey of Nuffnang since I was supposed to talk about Nuffnang.

I had photos of the initial team Nuffnang started off with, with the first clients we met and things like that but as luck would have it... for some reason, the computer at the convention couldn't seem to open my Powerpoint file. So.... HO HO HO.

I was thrown on stage suddenly having to speak out of the blue.

Fortunately, when I was on stage I looked down at the crowd of people in front of me and saw the many people there quietly waiting for me to say something... as if they were going to write down every word I was going to say.

I decided
"F*** IT!!! Here goes..."

And started talking away.At the end of my speech... I was pretty sure I did a bad job.

But as I ran out of time and the moderator took the mic from me, the 500 people I just spoke to started clapping away which was enough to put a smile on my face.

After the speech, all the speakers including myself were given a 'token of appreciation'.

Now in most cases, a token of appreciation would be an engraved plate or something... but the creative people at Youth Malaysia decided to make large blow-up pictures of us.

We each had one.

After we were done taking photos with huge photos of ourselves, it was time for us to go for lunch.

Before we all had a chance to... a swarm of people walked up to us and waited politely for a chance to ask us some questions. Many of which told me that they loved my speech... as much as I thought that it was a really really bad one.

I was asked all sorts of questions about entrepreneurship and I answered as honestly as I could.

Truth is... looking back... it's a little surreal. I mean... Nuffnang is only 10 and a half months old and it was only one year ago that I officially started become and entrepreneur.

Sure our growth has been unbelievable and the things we managed to achieve in such a short time... so great that I'm not sure if I could ever duplicate this success if I had to do it all over again.

Like I said at my speech... Nuffnang is what it is today because of a lot of luck... and a lot of blessings and support from the right people that believed in us from the start.But here were new or soon-to-be entrepreneurs in my very same generation that was coming up to me for advice.

I was a little flattered... and also a little cautious of the high expectations that were put on me.To the soon-to-be entrepreneurs who came up to me for advice: Keep in mind that eventhough I might be a little ahead right now... I am still very much on the learning curve like all of you.

One day... some of you might truly achieve big success.. and I will be the one paying good money to watch you speak.

As for now... good luck on your many endeavors and remember my motto in live.
"Don't be cocky... there is a lot the generation before us have to teach us".

Cloverfield

Okay two days ago I watched Cloverfield.

I must say... I thought it was a movie that I wasn't gonna like.

I mean... just by watching the trailer you know it's one of those movies that are made to look like the entire movie was taped on a camcorder.

That means... a lot of shaking around when the camera man runs.

Watch the trailer here to get a feel of that.




That really annoyed me in the beginning.

But as I watched the movie to the end, I kinda liked it.

It was a rather different monster/disaster movie...and it really really made the viewer feel as if he/she was really in that situation.

So I loved the movie... except for a few really really UNREALISTIC points in the movie.
Now I can accept unrealism in movies... but for a movie that tries to give a close to reality take on a disaster like that... some of the unrealistic parts in this movie were a little pushing it.

First of all... how is it that this chick Beth who was injured with an iron rod through her chest was able to walk, run, scream and hey... even drag Hud out of the helicopter wreckage.

Unless of course she's WOLVERINE and heals as fast as you can say the word "BULLSHIT!!!".
The second thing that I find that annoyed me was all the soldiers shooting their guns at the monster when they know it's not doing anything.

Is that even natural?

Lets say you're a little kid.

And you go try tickle your friend.

Then you find after a few seconds of attempted tickling, your friend doesn't laugh or anything.

What do you do next?

A) Say "Oh ... you're not ticklish... I guess I'll have to find something else to get you at".

or

B) Say "KOOOOOOTCHIE KOOOTCHIE KOOOO!!!!!!!" and continue to tickle your friend.

Unless you're a moron... your answer would be A right??

Same thing with the monster. If your rifle isn't even denting the monster.... stop shooting and RUN AWAY.

Now the last and final thing that bothered me about the movie was...

Throughout the whole movie there was a bad monster turning Manhattan into an open air car park. Towards the end of the movie, we know that since the movie started, to the end it was about over 7 hours.

Now in that all that time...

WHERE THE HELL WAS OPTIMUS PRIME WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM THE MOST?!?!?!


I mean.. Optimus Prime would've pwned that monster!

Nuffnang On TV!!!

Last night, Nuffnang was in the NTV7 News at 8.00pm.

I gotta say, this is the first time I've ever seen myself on TV.

I didn't get to see myself the previous time round on Hello On Two because it was broadcasted live... but this interview session was pre-recorded so.... well.. it was... fun to watch.

Give a hand to the some of the Nuffnang team in the video though... can you imagine the temptation they had for them to JUMP in front of the camera and say
"HI MUM!!!! I'M ON TV!!!!!"

I also owe big thanks to Nazrul from NTV 7 on this.

Thank you Nazrul!

Anyway, if you're interested, watch the video here.

What a Saturday!

HOLY COW!!!

I just had one of the busiest Saturdays I have ever had.

In the morning I had to go to PWTC to give a speech for our first National Entrepreneurs' Convention.
In the afternoon there was Traffic Jam (Nuffnang Community Event) immediately after the National Entrepreneurs' Convention.

Then right after that I had to go make it for one of my friend's wedding dinner.

I am so tired and exhausted now after a long day but NO MATTER... BOSS STEWIE AIN'T NO PUSSY!!!

BLOGGING UNDER LACK OF SLEEP IS MY SPECIALTY so I am going to blog about my day now!

I shall first start by telling you bout my morning.

This morning I arrived at PWTC ..... ZZZzzzzzzzzzzz..........ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

ZZzzzzzzzzzz.........

Timmy on TV (Part 2)

This morning I was at Angkasapuri for a TV interview on the RTM 2 program Hello on Two hosted by Zamil and Annie.

I was pretty nervous being on National TV for the first time but after 5 minutes I kinda got used to it and well... I didn't say "nipples"... YAY!!!

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures in the studio... didn't know if I was allowed to and I don't have a video of the session yet but it looked something like this.
I'll probably try to get one next week and post it up here okay?

Anyway, both my parents were watching the show and after the show I spoke to each one of them.

My Dad... had nice things to say... he said he was proud.

Now my Dad has always been the kind of man who believed that his sons should ALWAYS do better than him

He always used to preach: "Whenever you come up with a new version.. it must be better than the old right?"

Unfortunately the "old version" set too high a standard that I'm not even 5% of the way there to being even on par with him.

So you can imagine how nice it was to hear from my father that he was proud... (well not as proud as when I made it to the Top 25 Young Entrepreneurs in Asia on Businessweek but still proud).
Then it came to my mum's turn to talk to me on the phone.

She said
"Son... everything went okay.. but I just have one thing I really just have to point out".

Thoughts were racing through my mind... uh oh uh oh... did I say NIPPLES without realizing it?

Or did I do something even more embarrassing like scratch my crotch or dig my nose while on National TV without realizing it?

My mum went on to say
"Son... you better do some exercise.. you really are getting really FAT!!!"

I blurted out in my defence
"WHAT?!?! MUM!!! I'M NOT FAT.. I'M JUST BIG BONED!!!"

Fat would be like Hasan!!!

Right? (Hahahah Hasan)

My mum refused to give it to me.

She said
"No Son.. you're getting VERY FAT... you're not there yet but soon you will be if you don't do something about it. Please go do some exercise... do you want to be a fit entrepreneur or a fat one".

My lips almost automatically defended myself
"BUT BUT... I PLAY BADMINTON!!!"
She said
"Badminton isn't enough.. you need to swim.. or go to the gym and burn off all that fat...".

AUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Somebody!!!

Please... PLEASE TELL MY MUM.... that.. that

I'M NOT FAT!!! I'M JUST BIG-BONED!!!!

And and.... that the camera adds 10 pounds!!!

Timmy on TV

I'm going to be on a LIVE talk show on National TV tomorrow to speak about being an entrepreneur and all.

Oooh ooh I've never been on TV before let alone National TV. So nervous... which is why I'm NOT going to say what time, what programme and/or which channel ok?

I mean... how can I go through with that knowing that people I know or who know me are watching in. What if I say something wrong... like if I suddenly say "Nipples" or something.

Oh well wish me luck everyone!

Fort Cornwallis - The Penang Fort

Many tourists look at Penang as a teeny little tropical island north of Peninsular Malaysia.
An island where people sip ice-tea and lie on the beaches.
You know what's wrong with islands like this?

It gets mistaken as the kind of island where if there ever were a war, its native Penangites will defend the island with coconuts and fruit drinks.

Well HMPH!

That's why to make sure that Hasan didn't get the wrong idea about Penang,

I brought him to Fort Cornwallis while he was here in Penang.YES... PENANG HAS A FORT!!!

But NOBODY PAYS ENOUGH ATTENTION TO IT!!!

WHY?!?!?

Because everyone is too busy with Kota A Famosa in Malacca.
Ohhh ohhh!!!

Kota A Famosa this ... Kota A Famosa that...

Does anyone not consider the feelings of the old Penang Fort up north?!?!?!

All it wanted was a little bit of attention!

But nooo.... Kota A Famosa gets all the fame and tourists all flock there to see one wall.

That's right... ONE WALL...

Whereas Fort Cornwallis up in Penang has a BIG STATUE of Francis Light!

Guns and Hats for us to wear!


Lots and lots of prison to lock up bad people!

And four walls.

That's right... NOT ONE... NOT TWO... NOT THREE... FOUR #*&*ING WALLS!!!!

And CANNONS too.

Not just ONE or two cannons.

A MILLION OF THEM... ENOUGH TO SHOOT DOWN THAT NAVY SHIP AT SEA!!!
So why does nobody care about Fort Cornwallis?

Is it because it has MORE than ONE WALL???

NO!

Is it because the Fort has NEVER seen battle before ever in its history?

NO!

IT'S BECAUSE OF THE DAMN CHAR KWAY TEOW!When tourists come to Penang... what do they come for?

They come BLINDED BY THE FOOD and NOTHING ELSE!!!

All that FOOD OVERSHADOWS our history and the existence of our FORT CORNWALLIS!!!

Shame on you Penangites for making such good Char Kway Teow.
One day... ONE DAY if our shores are invaded by an army of imaginary armoured monkeys shall you learn to appreciate our dear Fort Cornwallis.

If that day ever comes... I jom this cannon ok?I like this cannon. Can roll wan.

The rest of you can go fight for the other cannons.

I'm taking this one.