Shopping with Girls

At least ONCE in his lifetime, every man... will have to experience shopping with a girl.

It may be a friend, a girlfriend, a girl you have a crush on, or it may be your mother... at least ONCE in your life, you WILL have to go shopping with a girl.

Today I went to do my shopping duties with a girl.

Now every girl you will go shopping with in this generation... EVERY GIRL... will find her way to Vincci.Don't you ever DISS Vincci man.

She can be the nicest most polite girl to you ever... but the minute you say
"Hey I think Vincci sucks... can we NOT go there this time?"

She's gonna tell you to F*#K OFF!!!

I mean look at the place.

It's almost ALWAYS full.

With ladies walking around, picking up the shoes on the side and throwing it on the floor to try it on.

Now as a guy... there is a couple of things that you are expected to do when going shopping with a girl.

Number 1: Face it... you're a Bell Boy.CARRY HER BAGS.... it don't matter how many bags there are or how many hands you have... YOU CARRY EM ALL!!!

Number 2: YOU LOVE SHOE SHOPS.

You do....

You know why??

Because shoe shops like Vincci ALWAYS have seats for people to sit and try on shoes but MOST IMPORTANTLY for the men to sit on while they wait for their women to shop away.So guys... I'm sure you've seen this all before.

I mean you'll be at some shopping mall or in Vincci.

Then you'll see one guy sitting alone there on the bench and in his hands many many paper bags for Isetan, MNG, Zara etc etc.... and you might think to yourself

"HAHAHAHA!!! What a loser.... probably gets whipped by his girlfriend every day".Well don't laugh... why???

Because I used to laugh and make fun of guys like that... but sooner or later... it will be YOU sitting down in that shoe shop... more than once in your lifetime too.Trust me guys.

Number 3: ALWAYS BE AROUND to give your opinion.

The truth is... your opinion isn't gonna matter to her. It really isn't.

You can tell her that you think the blue shoe is really nice... but she's going to pick the pink one anyway.

But you STILL HAVE TO GIVE YOUR OPINION.

And you BETTER act like you care about the opinion you're giving her.

When asked
"Hey.. do you think the pink or blue shoe nicer?"
NEVER SAY
"Anything lah".

Then she'll think that you don't care!

and NEVER EVER SAY
"Uhh that wan!" (And point in between both shoes).

Because then she'll KNOW that you don't care!

What you should do is pause for a while, take a good look at the shoes she's holding in her hands and say
"The blue one makes you look more like a professional working woman but the pink one makes you look more like the happy Sunday girl".

Don't even think about whether that answer makes sense or not.... because it doesn't matter.
What matters is that you'll be scoring some brownie points since you've shown her that you've answered her in more than 1 word.

Number 4: Always give her a reason to NOT want to bring you back to the shop.

This is important. If you don't do this last step... then you're going to be shopping bell-boy for LIFE.

DO YOU WANT TO BE SHOPPING BELL-BOY FOR LIFE?!?!

So there are many ways you can go about doing this... from picking a fight with the sales girl there or almost dropping or breaking any of the stuff there.

For me... I pretended to be really really fascinated by the mirrors on the floor that helped you look at your own feet.

After she was done she came over and said
"Okay lets go"

And I said
"Wait wait... this is really cool. I've never seen my feet like this before."

And kept staring at the reflection of my shoe in the mirror.

She'll sit next to you... then 5 minutes later she'll say
"Can we go now?"

And then say
"Wait wait... this is really cool... I wanna remember this... wait let me take a picture of this".

Then once you whip out the camera you take as many shots as you can and take your time taking them as well.

Just say that the previous shot you took was a little blurry or that someone walking pass was blocking your shot.

Stall as much as 15-20 minutes.

Until she says
"EH IF WE DON'T GO NOW I CAN'T SHOP FOR MY NEW BAG ALREADY!!!!"

Then you give in and say
"Okay okay... sorry sorry... nevermind I'll finish this when we come back again. Are we coming back here again?"

Then trust me... you will never EVER have to set foot in that shop again.

NEVER... (Unless of course you're STUPID enough to later on tell her that it was all part of your evil plan and laugh out loud like Dr.Evil).So do all these steps for each shop and sooner or later she's going to think that you're a sweet guy for always offering to go shopping with her... but she'll never bring you.. because you waste time!