Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Gwen's Tarot Reading

Every now and then my readers would do something to make me happy or laugh.

Whether it's forwarding funny e-mails, leaving funny comments, fighting for the "First" to comment... you guys always make me happy even when I'm feeling down in the crapper.

Now recently, one of my readers named Gwen, decided to entertain me further by giving me a Tarot Reading.

She is apparently very good at these things and her predictions were true in many cases.

This is what her cards predicted about me (in her exact words).

The first card represents your general environment and emotions at present: Violence! Stubbornness with a tinge of vehemence, you seek the death of someone :P

Stewie: WHAT?!?! I DON'T FEEL LIKE KILLING ANYONE!!! (Apart from the people who call me fat).

The second card are the obstacles that you are facing in your life (whether it be known to you or not):
Cruelty, perversion, barbarity and have evil intentions, emotions that conflict with how you should behave in society

Stewie: So I am cruel, a per
vert, a barbarian and I have evil intentions (to take over the world).... Thanks Gwen.

The third card is a symbol of what crowns you, ie. the best that you will ever be, but have not achieved it yet:
You want to be a good person, and become very strict with yourself. Your life will be great if you only had discipline. You can achieve the level of respect that you can get, but you'll have to bypass your obstacles first.

Stewie: You mean I don't have discipline? WHAT?!? THAT IS SO NOT TRUE. I stopped going out clubbing and drinking late at night since I started having to wake up early for work every morning.

The fourth card is something that you already have in your talent pool, something you can use as a factor to overcome your obstacles:
You have strength, determination, and a complex mind, says you're also comfortab
le undertaking many positions that are not typical.

Stewie: I don't know if this is true in myself but some of my friends have told me this before.

Your fifth card determines your past:
There has been a record of pain, and sickness, loss and disaster.

Stewie: Can you blame me for this?
I had a girlfriend who left me for my childhood friend, then went on to sleep with another friend of mine. Then many years later came back into my life just to sleep with another one of my childhood friends... but cheated on that childhood friend by sleeping with another friend of mine...

The sixth determines your future and what's to come:
Again loss, probably something of yours will get stolen ... something that is taken away for the better.

Stewie: Alright... which one of you bastards is going to sleep with my next girlfriend?

The first card represents your attitude about yourself and the world:

You have a curious understanding of the world and dont' mind doing dirty work.

Stewie: This is true.

The reading on your attitude right now also says:
You have activity, and the parth of such activity, swiftness, as that of an express messenger, great haste.

Stewie: Yeah quite true as well.

The Second card reflects your environment, family and those around you and how they influence you:
Your friends are sources of great happiness and you often rely on them to get the inside scoop on anything. You have many many loyal friends and family. They look up to you and expect a lot from you too.

Stewie: True but they missed out one thing: My readers are also a source of great happiness to me.

The third card interprets your hopes and fears:

You're very cautious about being seen as a selfish person, you like to have many friends (in a crowd) and only have very few that you truly enjoy being with, maybe as few as just one that you trust and hold dear.

Stewie: Ahh... ah yes fine fine... true. Ah Bop is the one I hold dear.

The last card represents what will come: You will experience joy, contentment and security, it also says you will get fatter (I didn't write this!!! the direct words used are "abundance and nourishment")


PS: The new banner was designed by Gwen.
In case you're wondering, it's a night view of Penang! See... we have lights in Penang too!

Thanks for the banner Gwen :P


jeez said...

am i 1st this time?

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

WABIANG EhH!!!! i kenot believe this la.........

fine fine fine. 2nd 2nd 2nd. 2nd 2 one and over the rest! blehhhhhhhh


suicidalconversationjunkie said...

boss stewie is fat. so there! kill me now? hehehehe

and something tells me the dramatic sleepinghereandthere of that girlfriend whom u dumped sounds overly.. dramatic. tsk tsk lying again just like how u lied to us about your riches? doesn't sound very disciplined to me. some more the bingeing sessions on haagen dazs and let's not even go into the other things.

peace, fatty!! xD

Boss Stewie said...

jeez: hahaha yes u are

suicidal: maaahaaai you watch out!!!

fei said...

don't have to be so emo la when ppl call you fat...just tell them that fat then got more to love ma..hehhehehe

if the fella skinny like stick, can ask the fella "eh, you need money to buy food anot?" bwahhahahahha...

p/s: the story on your ex gf doing everything with everyone except you true one anot wor? like hong kong drama one..

coffee81 said...

I laughed my head off reading this post!LOL

Gwen said...

ahaha omg your responses ... damn 10X farneer than what you said in MSN! The best was when I was giving you the "great haste" reading and you had to go ... aih keng keng ...

I didn't call you fat laaaaa

-blake- said...

Eh... Make sure your next gf cun chick so I can be the bastard who sleeps with her. HAHAHA. You fat meh?

Boss Stewie said...

fei: haha it's true.. really

coffee81: really? hahahahaha

gwen: hahaha you did!!! but the word you used was "abundance"

blake: hahaha alright.. cun chick it is

Eve said...

HAhaha..i know the exgf story is true :P

Eve said...

HAhaha..i know the exgf story is true :P

Chapree Da Grande said...

You don't need the last card to know that you for sure becoming fatter. Come on, one big tube of ice cream? :p

Shireen K said...

sucidal: How can you dispute on being the 2nd one when you are almost 40 minutes late?

and whats wrong with being fat?

and the ex gf part...yah right... too much HK drama!!!! TOO MUCH!!!

belle said...

eh boss ask yr childhood fren kao me then i sleep with u wan?jeng mou???

Boss Stewie said...

eve: hahaha shh shh.. no names!!!

chapree: OI!!! CARI PASAL AR?!?! :P

shireen: hahaha but it's true :P

belle: JENG AH!!!

Shireen K said...

wah ... tsk tsk tskkk .... perks... perks....

andrew said...

okay lah, aku jadi bandwagon jumper lagi :)

where got fat?!
cant u all remember the picture he showed of himself standin at the top of a building shirtless?
so muscular!
so many muskels!!
so the scary-fyin!!!

wanna know why its scary?
cause he can wrap u up in his "spare tyre"and whack u gao gao
:) :) :) :) :) :)
im only joking!!!!!
im seriously joking!!!
dont delete this comment because it might make some ppl sensitive *hint hint* *cough*boss*cough*
dont dont dont!
i was kiddin!
sigh okay im done heh heh heh =)

eh wait no im not done, i have a question.
are u sure it said "dont mind doin dirty work"?
are u sure it didnt actually say "dont mind being dirty"?

Daphne said...

i always feel tt tarot cards are.. scary? its like.. some dark magic thingie.. o wells. thats just me.

erm.. Fa.... *coughcoughcough*


suicidalconversationjunkie said...

shireen: ahahaha coz i just checked like minutes before boss posted!! that's why i was going ballistic.. so the unbelievable

and boss! if the gf story is true, i'll help u stack many many many the fat dolls on top of the voodoo doll of her i've just made! let's see wat her tarot card reading is now hehehe :p

there's nothing wrong with being fat too so don't threaten me can. is this how u treat one of the many sources of happiness? BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

hasan said...

I call dibs on your net gf. And your ex gf. Why not.

Jackson said...

I guess we can't call Boss Stewie fat anymore, or he could kill us for real (it's written in the cards!)

Now we just call him 'abundant'

Shireen K said...

yea... come to think about it .... yea....

no calling him fatty, just incase you get killed..

and... no getting a super chun gf, just incase she will happen to sleep with stewie and you guys will be heart broken...

be smart... have an affair.. but dont forget...he'll do anything 'dirty' .... i somewhat had alot of thoughts on that... and you know.. I cant define that... *looks at stewie with puzzled mind*

oh and boss.. i hate to ask you. but i REALLY REALLY need your number now.. it's a crisis..

Boss Stewie said...

andrew: HAHA!! i'm sure it said that i don't mind doing the dirty work.. and i'm sure there is no sexual reference to that

daphne: hahaha well.. yeah i showed some of my friends and they didnt believe in it

suicidal: please whatever u do... don't voodoo me

hasan: bastard!

jackson: BASTARD!!!!

shireen: ahahha shireen... send me your msn and i'll add u

Anonymous said...

Shireen K said...

eh.. tiber tiber this purpleking fler wanna take my place..... ciss....


Boss Stewie said...

shireen: LOL u ar!

Chapree Da Grande said...

Mana ada cari pasal, Boss...saya cari makan saja...

dengan cari position LAST!!! HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

bodicea said...

The first card represents your attitude about yourself and the world:
You have a curious understanding of the world and dont' mind doing dirty work.

Stewie: This is true.

We could be partners in crime :D

Boss Stewie said...

chapree: LOL!!!

bodicea: we could be :P

suicidalconversationjunkie said...


Boss Stewie said...

not anymore!!!